I may have mentioned before that my childerbeast are members of their school Diversity Club. Naturally, this makes me proud. However, it has also made me feel somewhat of a dinosaur because I am often made to feel as if I am being offensive to the world. This started when I asked for clarification on the various nomenclature these days. I may have become a bit facetious (but if a woman can’t be facetious in the comfort of her own home then where will it all end?) All I wanted to know was firstly (a) what is the difference between transgender, non-binary, asexual, gender-fluid, pansexual, pangender, etc. and (b) why the necessity to label oneself at all?
Maths teacher classic
This led to a lively debate where I learned new terms, such as cisgender, graysexual, gynosexual, omnisexual and a dozen or so other names which seemed to me to essentially mean the same thing and some which made me roll my eyes in despair. I soon began to regret my decision to quit drinking until Xmas.
I didn’t help matters by getting the cat involved and asking him which species he was choosing to identify as today – just in case he had decided to no longer be a cat. I was made to feel as if I was being as un-pc as Norman Collier in a balaclava pretending to be a black dude. (Obviously, I can’t find any evidence of this on google, but trust me, that shit happened in the 1970s).
On further googling I discovered that there is now a whole new list of pronouns. Neopronouns in fact, for people who don’t like to use the gender-defining pronouns of she/her or he/him,
I’m all for being inclusive and one love and all that, but when I saw this, I did kind of want to stab myself in the face with a fork and pour myself a half pint of scotch. (Can I say scotch anymore or is that racist now?)
TBH, as long as everyone involved is consenting and of legal age and mentally capable of making such a decision, I don’t give a shit who is attracted to or banging who, or not banging them in fact because despite being attracted to them, they’re closed for business sexually. If I’m a non-coloured, Jedi/Wiccan, birth female who sees beauty in everything and everyone, with boobs and a working vagina who occasionally masturbates, but doesn’t fiddle with kiddies or animals – do I need a new name & genus?
Why does it all need to be so complicated? I thought the whole idea was to be non-labeling?
My own children are making me feel as if I am a modern-day Alf Garnet in my own home every time I crack a joke or get annoyed because I can’t clap to show appreciation at a public theatrical event anymore, in case I upset anyone autistic.
Please do not say gaylord, bummer, fag, he, she or in fact anything… just in case…
Somehow we also got on to the subject of Pavlov’s Dogs and Shrodinger’s Cat. I think it may have been something to do with eldest childerbeast beginning to cough and salivate when an advert for the Co-Op came on TV. I said something about it being a Pavlovian response from all the ‘values’ shoved at her school all the time (because apparently nobody ever thought of being themselves, sharing stuff or working together etc before the bloody Co-Op came along). She then said, “is that the one with the cat in a box?” Which then prompted a further discussion about Pavlov and Shrodinger.
I was on firmer ground here thankfully. My youngest, who recently declared (whilst ironically glued to her tech) “why do we even need science anyway? it’s all rubbish” (another fork to the eye moment for me) was out of her comfort zone now and I was back in control.
Pep – both intelligent & stupid
She went to bed bemused and defeated.
Mum wins this round.
So today on Armistice Day – 100 years since teenagers and young people (mostly men) fought and died for their country and 100 years later most people can’t be arsed to put their own rubbish in the bin – we made non-binary, gender-fluid entities of an inadequately sugared & gingered, trans-age ethnic nature.
May they grow up to love and be loved by, well whoever or whatever really, as long as it’s not some fucktard I used to teach
and I’ll just leave these here so you can ponder (to quote TLOG’s Bernice) “which toilet to go in, while Western society burns down around us”
images courtesy of google images