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Should I mention jelly vagina in this title I wonder? Oops there. I just did.

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Baffled today by an answer which read; “3D with 4 corners and 2 equal opposing sides for which the question had been; “What does the word ‘Enigma’ mean?”

Reminded me a bit of that T shirt slogan that was around in the 80’s that said:

              “If the answer is fuctifino. What is the question?”


 Other absurdities today have included my children greeting me at the end of the school day waving in my face what appeared to be a giant Haribo gelatinous vagina, apparently handed out at the end of the day by someone whose birthday it was. 

Gee thanks for that pal.  You shouldn’t have… really…

     I think it was meant to be a giant jelly tongue, but to me it bore a striking resemblance to a certain rock based ladyparts sweet item I was charged to purchase “for a laugh” for my Manager from Scarborough seafront last year.



 On the way home, a friend accidentally knocked down a boy who was running across the road.  Luckily for him she wasn’t going fast, unlike most of the eejits who tear-arse up and down that street thinking they’re on Crenshaw Boulevard. 

   Dramatic medical times for a Friday night, which gave the natives something to tweak their nets over and more than the usual number of dog-walkers to appear and gawk at.  Not sure that it required 2 police vans, a squad car, an ambulance and a hospital car to turn up at the scene though! (although nice to see my council tax dollar being utilised in such a flamboyant fashion.)

At last check, both parties were doing ok, with the boy being kept in hospital at least overnight.  I hope he gets well very soon.  A stark Friday afternoon wake-up to my own Childerbeast who got to see first hand what happens when you don’t use the Green Cross Code.  For a change they weren’t lipping me with the lines like; “Yeah we know, you could get hit by a car blah blah blah”.


On a lighter note…


Having abandoned sending Xmas cards the last few years in favour of a donation to a worthy cause instead, I received my Good Gifts catalogue in the mail yesterday with a few different ideas from the usual buy a bunch of seeds or school supplies for underprivileged kids from Ghana, Borneo or Dewsbury or similar.

  Imagine my joy at seeing this picture on page 5.

The Bank That Likes To Say... "Bok bok bok"

 A bank run by chickens?    Brilliant! 

 Can you not just picture them in little shirts and ties?  Pecking away at their little keyboards.  With tiny pens on tiny chains that don’t work,  and asking you in their little clucky voices how you wanted your cash, while a senior looking cockerel in it’s own booth in the corner, dispenses sage advice to a young hen & her chicks about switching mortgages to a fixed rate?

Dare I even contemplate TV ads with hoards of them all singing in an X formation like the Halifax lot.     (You can see it in your mind I can tell, and if you can’t now, you will later when you see one of those Halifax ads.)

 Imagine then my disappointment at realising that actually ‘Chicken Bank’ is just a trick way of getting you to buy just a regular chook coop. 



Now, however, you are talking…    A Bank That Deals Exclusively in Goats

Clearly this would only work for me if the tellers were also goats.  Or chooks.  Either would be fine.  Flamingo bank tellers would be the most awesome though of course.  Or parrots on skates (the ones who can ride bikes would be too busy with their courier jobs biking packages around London).

I think I need less wine.  Or possibly more………. I think I got up too early this morning.




About TheDHW

Not loathed by totally everyone so that's good right?

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