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2011 – Year of the……..

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……earthquakes in New Zealand and Japan.  Nuclear reactor meltdowns; phone hacking scandals in the tabloids & the demise of the News of the World.  Revolt in Egypt; the super-injunction foiled by a loose lipped MP in Parliament & the power of the tweet (#giggsymassive hairylovecheat). 

I danced for my supper at a festival and one of my freinds sat in a tree for 4 days in protest (not at my dancing though).  He got a free KitKat & tried (and failed) to shit in a carrier bag and they still cut the tree down anyway.

That green plazzy bag is gonna come in useful once that KitKat kicks in pal

The year of a hot summer night, nothing on the telly and young ‘uns with nothing better to do than burn down Greggs & loot Poundlound for sweets & Footlocker for sneakers. 

Segway - the future of playground patrol

It's free yet you still chose No Frills!

Baby baby baby baby Ohhh

 

 

 

 

 

 

images courtesy of some very funny people on the Tinterweb

 

Clearly the hot summer night excuse didn’t hold true on Boxing Day for 18 year old Seydou Diarrassouba.  The lad may or may not have been in a gang but seriously? Stabbing another human being to death in a fight over sneakers?  WTF?  

McFly attempted World domination via the medium of the reality TV show.  Next year maybe Tom McFly (the one with the strange square face) will win The Great British Bake-Off or something.

We lost, but did not mourn, Bin Laden & Gadaffi.  Sadly we also lost, but did mourn:- Kim Il Jong,  Jayne Russell, Bubba ‘Hightower’ Smith, Heavy D, Liz Taylor, Ryan ‘Jackass’ Dunn, Peter Falk, Pete Postlethwaite,  Amy Winehouse, Steve Jobbs, Jimmy Saville and Yvette ’50 ft Woman’ Vickers was found mummified in her own house, possibly having been there undiscovered and unmissed for almost a year (it’s the way I’ll probably go to be fair). 

If only you'd actually been 50ft tall then people might have noticed you were missing

 

A musical tribute to all those must come from the also deceased Nate Dog with one of my favourite songs from the 90’s – everybody singalong with the Michael McDonald part, “I keep forgetting we’re not in love anymore” 

 

There was also of course, a mahoosive wedding which stopped the nation in it’s tracks and was the cause of posh frocks & hats, much drunkeness, partying & hangovers from hell:

 

Right Royal Times

 

Cake of the Year 2011

 

 Oh and some skinny bird married some balding bloke.

 

a couple of randoms

 I hope that 2012 will be a good and successful one and that Britain will actually win some medals at the Olympics, (which I will be nowhere near because I envisage that the London Transport System will be at meltdown throughout July).   I hope my Zumba pays off and I can wear clothes which don’t leave a red line around my body.  I hope my family remain healthy & happy and my friends remain fabulous; and I look forward immensely to the safe arrival of this little lady in April:

Kylie Renesmee GaGa Cole

Aunty DHW AKA the Anti-Aunty.  Be afraid…

 
HAPPY NEW YEAR & do keep on reading & tell your friends to read too (& FFS buy some of my shit from the DHW Store. I’m on a peanuts wage here guys!)  A gal’s gotta keep herself in booze somehow otherwise reality might seep in and that’s no use to me.
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About TheDHW

Not loathed by totally everyone so that's good right?

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