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I love this website, particularly when I have nothing amusing of my own to offer on a chilly and slightly hungover Monday: –

newsmanc

Greater Manchester Police (GMP) have refused to rule out the involvement of Mario Balotelli in a large building fire currently raging on Chester Road.

Eyewitness reports allegedly place Balotelli in the area around 30 minutes before fire crews arrived at the scene.

Local resident Sarah Sempter spoke to News Manc after spotting the world’s greatest man sneaking around the Trafford area with a big grin on his face.

“I saw him dancing along Chester Road towards the building from the direction of Old Trafford”, said Sempter.

“He was wearing a T’Pau t-shirt and a Carol Decker wig, but it was definitely him. He was pushing a supermarket trolley full of fireworks and lighter fluid.”

A Manchester City FC spokesman later confirmed to News Manc that Balotelli is going through an 80’s music phase.

Detective Inspector Fraser Mitchell from GMP told News Manc that Balotelli is currently being questioned at a local…

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