Name that tune: “I’d like to drop my trousers to the Queen. Every sensible child will know what this means” – Nowhere Fast, The Smiths
This is no metaphor – this actually is me, showing my backside to Payroll, because there’s nothing I like better than getting underpaid by over 14 Teaching hours! Meaning that for the last month at least, I seriously HAVE been doing my job for love, cos it sure as shit wasn’t for the money!
If only it WAS me!
I did once stop the traffic (in a good way) with my backside, on Bishop’s Stortford High Street when I bent down in a bright turquoise lycra miniskirt to pick up some dropped change.
If I did that these days I’d still stop the traffic but only when the drivers crashed as they shielded their eyes in terror, or in fact literally stopped it as they ploughed into me like a great big steel buttcheeked Yorkshire wombat!