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Word du jour would have to be ‘Flatulate’

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This book was brought to my attention today (cheers Gene Genie) It’s your own time you’re wasting.  I am looking forward to reading it in full.  I also eagerly await the release of the mighty Bloggess long-overdue memoir ‘Lets pretend this never happened’.  If only because there’s a picture of a taxidermied mouse called Hamlet Von Schnitzel on the cover.

 

My own memoirs, tentatively titled, “Things you never thought you’d say out loud” (or possible other working title) “Fuck up your own education if you wish, I’ve got mine so I’m good thanks!” is currently a work in progress.   I have yet to decide what manner of eccentricity I shall have for a picture on my front cover on the book I have yet to write.  The possibilities are endless, but in all likelihood, may include flamingos and parrots

Worthy of inclusion within the book would definitely be; in answer to the question: “I’ve heard about masturbation Miss, what’s that all about then?”  that the answer “We’re going to get right down to that in a minute” is probably not the wisest!   

I also think that there should be some kind of certificate awarded on the basis of remaining poker faced and professional when faced with the question “Can a vagina overflow with sperm Miss?” or being advised in the playground “It’s OK Miss, I know what a dildo is now – so & so just told me”.  Turns out that the child in question found out about such things from the video game ‘Saints Row – The Third – so that’s ok then!

(I’ve Wiki’d this, and they’re not giving out any cheats on what level you have to be on to find out where dildo’s come into the gameplay so if anyone out there can clue me in – I’m all ears).

Break up for Half Term tomorrow and I’ll be enlightening the darlings on the intricacies of Michelangelo’s painting of the Sistine Chapel with a sprinkling of Dante’s ‘Divine Comedy’ for good measure.  Throwing myself open to further material for the book no doubt!  I bring it all on myself really!

 

FYI,  according to some sources, today is the little known French holiday, ‘Pasta Thursday’  and did you know that thousands flock to the cathedral in Notre Dame to visit that most sacred of religious artifacts –  The Crown of Chocolate Fishes, as worn by Jesus when he died in Nice 2.1million years ago (when trilobites handed out chocolate eggs to the children of France.)

FFS! Seriously?  do not bloody well ask!

 

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About TheDHW

Not loathed by totally everyone so that's good right?

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