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The cost of felt vaginas these days….

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Apropos of nothing, did you know that it’s £45.99 to buy a set of fuzzy felt female reproductive organs & another £45.99 for the male? 


No way jose – I’ll pop down to Boyes for some remnants and knock up a brace of his ‘n’ hers toilet & baby parts myself for a fraction of the price Ta very much.

Yes.  It’s me.  I’m here again…


Spent Saturday night at a 40th birthday BBQ where age did not necessarily equate to wisdom. Banana flavoured shots were imbibed after cider and white wine and (in some cases) vodka, made from polish potatoes, from a very dusty bottle of dubious origin. 

If you wondered how that panned out, it looked a little something like this:-



(The dog was unharmed despite getting sat upon by the Bman – ditto the gazebo, when he fell over some garden chairs and roly- polied into it!)

My friend had floated Big Fat Gypsy Wedding as an idea for a theme and I was thinking Thelma Modine, giant twinkly frocks etc.  It seems that what she actually meant was; Come and get shitfaced & dance around a burning oil drum in my back yard and check out my new caravan”.   It was great, we had a fab time right up until it was time to go home and then it all went a bit Pete Tong.   All I will say on that matter is that Bman has apologised several times and we’ve agreed that next time we go out anywhere together I will get a taxi home & leave him to his own devices!   :-/

There’s no pics of me BTW because, as per, I was behind the lens.  Bman may have some pics on his phone but none of me dancing or falling over because neither of those things happened.

Quote of the evening had to be:-

 “Wow! Let’s get a caravan, cos it’s got a clock”.

or possibly:-

 “You know what’ll sort that gimpy shoulder out mate?……….a wank!”

Thank you, Doctor Kildare!


About TheDHW

Not loathed by totally everyone so that's good right?

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