You may recall around this time last year, when the annual staff photograph caused much mirth and spawned birth of burglar deterrent merchandise in The DHW Zazzle Store (magnets still available – buy now – it may just save your perishables from being nicked) http://www.zazzle.co.uk/burglar_deterrent_magnet-147424097648543660
Well the results of this year’s effort arrived in the mail today!
I’m actually happy with how I look (for a change)*. Mainly because my frog socks cannot be seen and two-thirds of me is obscured by the people stood infront of me. I say ‘stood infront of me’ but this year the picture has once again been done in that style where they take several group shots then piece them altogether so it looks ‘cool’ and ‘groovy’ and informal…and freakishly out of perspective.
Case in point being one of our lunchtime supervisors who towers a good 6ft 5 around the playground, being dwarfed by a trio of apparently goulishly tall kitchen staff who seem to stand at around the 8ft mark! The school secretaries appear positively Lilliputian infront of them.
I was immediately put in mind of the Edward Lear poem about The Jumblies who went to sea in a sieve; had adventures with cheese and monkeys with lollipop paws and bottles of Ring-Bo-ree, then came back 20 years later grown extremely tall. http://www.nonsenselit.org/Lear/ns/jumblies.html
When I was discreetly shown the picture in class this afternoon, I was less than discreet in my guffaws of uncontained laughter. I will pin a copy up in the stockroom and whenever I’m having a tiresome day with the inmates I shall take a peek at it and guarantee that it will never fail to make me smile.
* although I hate the class one where I just look stupid sat on the floor looking fat & pissed-off that they had to take about 40 shots because my charges around me refused to smile or sit up straight.