Made self scarce this weekend with the childerbeast and hid in the Boro while Bman and his mates got drunk, ate their own weight in curry and played with lasers and strobes.
Within 5 minutes of getting off the train we witnessed an ugly altercation between a big fat drunk man in trackydaks shouting at a woman with a Staffordshire Pit Bull outside Next.
“You’re just hiding behind that fucking dog. You’d be nowt wi’owt that dog and it int even yours!”
There was also a strange man crouching down in the doorway of Wetherspoons sucking on a roll-up and this fabulous cripple car motoring at walking pace down the high street before we saw it parked up outside PoundLand.
The natives were also putting on a show outside the Balmoral Centre.
Ahhh Welcome home!
Decided to walk to the MiL’s to show the kids how we rolled old skool style. No buses, no lifts, no taxis. Through the cemetery and over Barrowcliff field before cutting through the Bronx with your hand on your wallet and an eye out for possible attack.
The lamppost is where the similarity to Narnia both begins and ends. Although I couldn’t guarantee that you wouldn’t stumble across the odd cloven hoof or two after dark!
Before anyone kicks off at me for this; I was once mugged for small change in the launderette on Colescliffe – by children! My Mother, before me, was mugged for her sweets when she was a girl, so don’t try and convince me that the area has improved with age and is a pleasant place to live!
Go to the MiL’s, had some tea, watched ‘Strictly’ and ‘Merlin Schmerlin’ (was pleasantly surprised how well Mandy Dingle could Cha Cha Cha for a big girl). Sent childerbeast to bed and then watched Mickey Flanagan DVD and almost choked to death laughing. Check it out of you get the chance.
Made the childerbeast walk back into town this morning to get the train home. Showed them further places of the scenes of my youth and gave them one of those speils about kids not knowing how lucky they are, yadayadyada, and how they’ll end up living somewhere like Bronxcliff if they don’t do as they are told and tidy their rooms (so I may have over-exaggerated a tad and laid it on a bit thick).
I’ll be honest, I’m not sure they were listening.
Nice place to visit, wouldn’t want to live there again.
Really don’t want to continue living where I do either, truth be told. Where rules of the road don’t apply and it’s quite acceptable to mow children down on a pedestrian crossing because you are a total and utter wankshaft, useless excuse for a human being who hasn’t got the brains of a cockroach!
Disclaimer: To anyone who may have been interested to meet up and may be miffed that I kept my visit quiet. It was literally an overnight flyer. I’ll be back at Christmas ready to bust out the Blastaways for Boxing day.