Warning: This post contains far too many brackets
Saturday night ghetto style.
Bit of a do up T’Club this evening, which I’ll be honest, I relished the prospect of, about as much as sitting in a bath of shite whilst jabbing a sharp stick in my eye.
I’m always rather nervous about mixing social occasions with work colleagues, but throw in some natives, a cheap bar and a handful of kids ripped to the tits on e-numbers and the probability of it all going Pete Tong was pretty high.
I wanted to show my face though, to wish my newly-wedded friends well (and of course, didn’t want to miss the opportunity of quality blog material if it all kicked off!)
..it was ok (and I did get to give my favourite Ann Louise Roswald another airing after my sister’s wedding.)
It could have been worse. It could have been down the local pub for a start (free sambuca shot with every packet of pork scratchings – wayhey!)
There’s just something about wedding receptions that makes me a bit maudlin. I sat there like a plum like I usually do at these things, wishing I was elsewhere.
It used to be because I was envious and convinced that I would never find anyone in love with me enough (or drunk enough) to want to marry me. Now it’s because I want to storm the stage, grab the microphone and scream; “What the fuck are you doing? Save yourselves before it’s too late!”
Worth going though to see my old boss, thoroughly enjoying his retirement, bless him. The childerbeast loved it and had huge fun getting high on popping candy and sherbert and jumping off the stage into the smoke machine. (BTW, laser lightshow and fog machine were total bobbins compared to the Bman’s).
I could have stayed longer and got messed up on cheap tequila (Jaquila more likely) but I decided the safest option was to leave at a dignified 10pm and be sat at home in my PJ’s by half past with a cuppa and my contact lenses out. Boring but ultimately better.
In tribute to my local residents club (Use it or loose it – typo intended) here are some of the best bits from Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights:-