Remember those loved-up pillow talk conversations you had in your delusional youth?
The pair of you cooched up together in a single bed in some bedsit or tiny overpriced flat somewhere, or in your parents’ house?
Well I would lay a cash wager on the fact that none of those starry-eyed conversations ever included any of the following:-
“I am not spraying my tits silver!”
“But it would be cool and you’d fit in with the other people. Or you could make a tinfoil boobtube”
“My tits aren’t perky enough anyway”
“But I could maintain the perkiness”
“But then you’d have silver paint on your chin – that’d be weird”
“I’ll only do it if you spray your cock silver”
“But I might get arrested”
“As opposed to me having tinfoil on my tits…”
“Yeah but you’d have your coat on”
“I’ve looked into it and colonic hydrotherapy is £60 a sesh and they recommend 3 sessions. So I’ve decided to just get you a bottle of whisky and I’ll borrow Gary’s Karcher washer and do the job myself… possibly with Dawn… how hard can it be?”
“We are not getting a Honey Badger as a pet… end of!”
Welcome to a typical Sunday morning in the Brewer household people!