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Dwarves, the sound barrier & a turtle on the back of an elephant

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Today I have mostly pondered what it would be like to do my job if I was a dwarf.  (It was generally agreed that I wouldn’t have quite as much presence).

I have also had a fair old crack at breaking the sound barrier… with my voice…  and I hate it when that happens.


On the plus side, apparently the Earth travels through space on the back of a turtle supported by 4 elephants…



Which is awesome.. except it’s not!  
Meanwhile, screw the science and geography – this little list below is what children aged 7 to 11 are meant to have learned about in KS2 at primary school, according to the new curriculum:-

[Mr Gove is more than welcome to man up, hop aboard and come and show us all how easy it will be to do this (as well as teaching KS1 about algorithms in ‘computing’)]

(Taken from: DofE New National Curriculum)


>>Pupils should be taught the following chronology of British history sequentially:

early Britons and settlers, including: the Stone, Bronze and Iron Ages

Celtic culture and patterns of settlement

Roman conquest and rule, including: Caesar, Augustus, and Claudius

Britain as part of the Roman Empire

the decline and fall of the Western Roman Empire

Anglo-Saxon and Viking settlement, including: the Heptarchy

the spread of Christianity

key developments in the reigns of Alfred, Athelstan, Cnut and Edward the Confessor

the Norman Conquest and Norman rule, including: the Domesday Book


Norman culture

the Crusades

Plantagenet rule in the 12th and 13th centuries, including: key developments in the reign of Henry II, including the murder of Thomas Becket

Magna Carta

de Montfort’s Parliament

relations between England, Wales, Scotland and France, including: William Wallace

Robert the Bruce

Llywelyn and Dafydd ap Gruffydd

the Hundred Years War

life in 14th-century England, including: chivalry

the Black Death

the Peasants’ Revolt

the later Middle Ages and the early modern period, including: Chaucer and the revival of learning

Wycliffe’s Bible

Caxton and the introduction of the printing press

the Wars of the Roses

Warwick the Kingmaker

the Tudor period, including religious strife and Reformation in the reigns of Henry VIII, Edward VI, and Mary

Elizabeth I’s reign and English expansion, including: colonisation of the New World

plantation of Ireland

conflict with Spain

the Renaissance in England, including the lives and works of individuals such as Shakespeare and Marlowe

the Stuart period, including: the Union of the Crowns

Cromwell’s commonwealth, the Levellers and the Diggers

the restoration of the monarchy

the Great Plague and the Great Fire of London

Samuel Pepys and the establishment of the Royal Navy

the Glorious Revolution, constitutional monarchy and the Union of the Parliaments.


Holy fucking shit!


Spending an evening away with the Bman tomorrow for some child-free alone time.  I swear if he unpacks a dodgy french maid costume for me or such like, I will get my own back next weekend in the gift shop at WB studio Harry Potter tour!




About TheDHW

Not loathed by totally everyone so that's good right?

One response »

  1. Bejesus ! I only got a 2/1 in my history degree, clearly should’ve tried harder for a first as I don’t know half of this shit !


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