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Are we there yet?

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Movie Quote of the Day:  Did you hear about that guy up in the Bronx? Thought he was a pigeon – they found him in the park throwing breadcrumbs at himself.” – The Money Pit

Name that Tune:  “The silicon chip inside her head gets switched to overload” – I don’t like Mondays – Boomtown Rats

Whenever I feel glum about life I can always rely on the Information Superhighway to furnish me with news of the consistent reliability of others, less sensible than myself, to show me that it could in fact be worse.
I could be more of a muppet than I actually am.

I appreciate that it’s early in the week but today I give you… this man:-

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/06/25/man-high-magic-mushrooms-tears-off-penis_n_3495829.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cuk-ws-bb%7Cdl11%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D189967

… and I rest my case.

Meanwhile.  Apparently it’s hot out there folks.  Who knew?  July and everything and it’s actually sunny and what do we do?  Whine that it’s too hot.  FFS!

In the words of Peter Kay, “Have a Solero and shut the fuck up!”

End of term is looming and whilst I fully appreciate that in any other line of work I wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with my children (although that would mean I wouldn’t have to listen to them continually bickering amongst themselves or complaining of being bored, so….)  I am well and truly ready for parole from the Pen for a few weeks.  Bejesus! 

 Children and parents alike are driving me to distraction. 

I haven’t slept properly in a week with my head full of nonsense I can do nothing about at that time of night.  I spent Wednesday night last week actually weeping as I lay in bed.  I was so tired but couldn’t get off to sleep.  This made me more overwrought.  Then it was like a rush of realisation that I wouldn’t be working with the Gene Genie every day (if at all) next school year and that set me off.  (No offence Miss LG).  Then it hit me that my other pal,  the lady like SB, was leaving town and I wouldn’t get to see her in ages, or be able to rock up at her house when I needed an escape bolthole,  let alone work with her – so that set me off anew.  Big soft dumbass that I am.

😦

Literally everything is driving me insane at the moment.  The spellcheck on this MoFo for a start –  just disputed the apostrophe in the word ‘wouldn’t’ and tried to change it so there was no apostrophe.  This is the kind of shit that can tip anyone over the edge.
One day you’re perfectly fine and functioning, the next.  BOOM.  One missing apostrophe is the straw that broke the camel’s back (possession there you see) and before you know it you’re on top of a high building taking potshots at passers by with an air rifle you bought from ebay and laughing hysterically to yourself.

I have France to look forward to at least (providing the railway track is sorted out after  that bloody derailment outside Paris).  Where I can listen to the childerbeast complaining of boredom and arguing with one another in  a different location (preferably in French).   I may well be throwing myself out of the train if they carry on in the way they have all this weekend!  Final Destination indeed

Just add it to the mental list of crap I can stew about in my mind while I am trying to get to sleep, along with why I’ve always been bloody hopeless with men; when will I ever earn a decent wage (never); why can’t people mind their own business and let me get on with the job I do have (because I am too old now to learn how to do anything new). When did children become so flippin’ rude and why couldn’t I have been born with a dislike for sweet foods and then maybe I wouldn’t be such a lardass.

 fatcard

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About TheDHW

Not loathed by totally everyone so that's good right?

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