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Is a modicum of decent standards too much to ask?

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Well done for having a baby & that but unless she dangles little Siegfried, or whatever his name may be, out of the window of the Lindo Wing doing a ‘Wacko Jacko’ then I see very little point in near continual news footage!

Meanwhile.  back in the real world… I treated myself to a new iron last week (cos that’s how I roll).  Asda Direct online.  Sale on in electricals.  Bish Bosh – new steam iron delivered within 48 hours, along with a new hair dryer aswell (no I haven’t won the pools – I just felt like having a splurge). 

A little Friday night ironing delight and what do I get? 


No quick backscuttle from the Bman across my delicates, but instead an arm soaking wet, as the water from the iron gushed down the flex from a faulty connection.  Not good – Health & Safety times!  Have to return that lemon the next day.

So Saturday morning sees The Brewers, en famille, en route to the local th’Asda where my iron was refunded without quibble, despite having no box or receipt.  Lovely. Cheers.  Thanks very much, while I go and choose a new one.  No supermarket own brand this time.  I’ll go nuts and level-up to a Russell Hobbs – what could go wrong?

    Buy a few clothing items while we’re there, like you do.  Holiday shirt for the Bman and some leggings (you can never have enough) for the childerbeast.

£100 lighter we get home and Bman tries on the shirt – way too small.  Just as he is about to cry about how much weight he must have put on, he realises that the shirt has been mislabeled and is not in fact the size he thought it was.  Ditto the childerbeast’s leggings – also purchased a size too small in error due to inept labelling/hanging.   Bman heads off back to th’Asda to exchange them while he’s in the mood.
Ideal opportunity here for me to crack on with the now precarious ironing pile.  Slightly over excited at opening the box for my new spanking, proper brand name and everything (Pink, no less) steam iron and … I fecking shit you not… this is the vision that greeted me when I took it out of the box.



I would have loved to have seen the expression on my face when I saw the state of this (although I’d be more likely to catch sight of my reflection in a pile of local gypsy horse shit than in the baseplate of this horrorshow!)

F F S!     W T F?  and   BE’FECKIN’JESUS!

Poor old Bev on the Customer Services Desk is probably still on sick leave after she took my call.  Unable as I was to get in the car to return the iron then and there because Bman was already on his way back to return the mislabeled clothes!
   Lucky for the bird who claimed to be in charge of the George clothing department who told Bman quite huffily, “It’s not my fault stuff is on the wrong hangers – the customers do it, not us”.    Way to run a tight ship there lady – lucky for you I was not there to hear that.  He walked off, sensing a storm brewing.  I would have happily showed her the best place to put those incorrect hangers, right after I’d shoved that iron up the jacksie of whoever had the misfortune to be in charge of the electrical department.


In an uncharacteristic moment of common sense it was decided that rather than face a third attack on Asda (Rooley Lane, Bradford branch) that day, we would wait until Sunday when I had calmed down, especially in light of the fact that Customer Service had been unable to exchange the clothes or issue a refund as Bman hadn’t got my debit card with him so they had issued him with a gift card for the cost of the items.  Spending any further monies at Asda was the last thing on my mind so the gift card was likely to be going the same way as the hangers and the iron if I went in all guns blazing that afternoon!

I had calmed down considerably by Sunday and didn’t think it fair to blast the smiley happy dude on Customer Service, so I spoke (eloquently, politely but very firmly) to the General Manager instead who of course refunded me and offered me another iron which I refused, saying I was taking my electrical patronage elsewhere thank you very much as I had burned twice this week by Asda,  (although not by either of the 2 irons they sold me of course – with them being a bag of utter shit and that!)

Needless to say I will be sending their Head Office and the Head Office of Russell Hobbs an email and jpeg advising of gross ineptitude of Asda and their ability to check things on their shelves particularly as the very next day my friend bought some fresh pasta from the chilled aisle and realised when she got it home that it was 5 days past it’s sell by date!  Also from the same store!

Broke up for the hols on Friday and it couldn’t have come soon enough,  (naturally the sun has gone in now though).  Worst end of Year 6 last day ever!  Inglorious, ungrateful bunch!  30 personal photo CDs that took my hours and not one thank you from any of them!    Am considering a career change – maybe I should stack shelves at Asda Rooley Lane, as clearly no experience, common sense or capacity for logical thought is necessary.  Maybe it’s people like that who need instructions like the ones I got with my new iron, which (again, I shit you not) first and foremost, told me that it was ‘inadvisable to iron clothes whilst still wearing them‘!

There’s no hope!



About TheDHW

Not loathed by totally everyone so that's good right?

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