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It’s coz I talk proper n that

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So what’s new?

Not a lot.  I didn’t even get up until 11am today.  Bone idle biatch!  No wonder I need to lose 2 stone.  Tan lines are fading and I’m disappointed in my new foundation – I still look like me with it on – Not good enough Revlon!

Oh, speaking of gaining weight – I am the new voice of a Pregnancy Crisis Helpline because apparently I have a nice ‘telephone voice’.  My suggestion of jazzing it up for the young un’s by singing it:-   “Hey how ya doin?  Sorry you got knocked up…” was rejected though and I had to do it sensibly. 


There is also talk of hitting the nightclubs with promotional stickers for this new crisis hotline and papering the backs of toilet doors with them.  I did suggest that Bman be sent out to do it but then, remembering his proclivity for attaching random stickers onto people, thought the better of it.  Many’s the time I have been at work and found erroneous ‘Only 99p!’ or ‘Fyffes bananas’ stickers on the back of myself!


Let’s have a bit of 50s pin up art to make us all feel better.

Tan is fading

Tan lines

 Gil Elvgren pic from Google Images


About TheDHW

Not loathed by totally everyone so that's good right?

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