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In the mix and trying not to barf at the bass

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So for the meal out in Manc and Little Mix gig I decided to go with, ‘I can still  just about pull this off’.



In my head I looked a bit like one of my favourite Vargas prints only with less visible downtown lady area:-


As you can see, it’s almost a seamless likeness.        #shouldhavegonetospecsavers

On arrival in Manc, I decided to show the childerbeast an example of not judging a book by its cover and a physics lesson on how sometimes things are bigger on the inside than they appear on the outside –  via the medium of Afflecks Palace.  Unimpressed at first view, they were soon cooing and oohing and ahhing and wanting to buy things they never knew they wanted and saying,”It’s massive?” and “Where did all this space come from?” and “Mum can I buy this fimo jewellery in the shape of a jammy dodger?”

We then checked into one of the nicest Travelodges I’ve ever been in (not saying much I know), but it was spotlessly clean and the room was huge and beds extremely comfortable.  All for the bargain price of £34, including full English!

Had a lovely early evening meal out with my sister and bro-in-law and the tinies before educating the childerbeast again about the strange race of people who only appear when a major entertainment event is occurring.  Wheeling their barrows of glittered, flashing and neon tat through the streets.  Accosting the unwary and peddling their feathery stetsons, glittery LED wands and other such bobbins to the gig-going public.  I am pretty sure this phenomenon only happens at cheese-pop and girly type shows and almost certainly doesn’t happen at rock gigs or outside the La Scala when La Boheme is on.

Childerbeast were unprepared for the scale of the Phones4U Arena – again greeted with a resounding cries of “WOAAAHH!”  I regaled them with some “there was this one time…” stories, like the time we were banned from ever using the executive Coca-Cola suite again after a Beastie Boys gig in the ’90s*, but I’m not sure they were interested.**

I was just grateful it was an all seated event.  Don’t think the childer would have appreciated any Mum-Crumping once the band came on.  After an hour of utter rubbish masquerading as support acts – one of whom was some kind of hideous hybrid of Hi-5 and Steps, who made up for what they lacked in harmonies or talent with pounding bass.  It soon transpired that my youngest has not inherited her mother’s ability to handle the bassbins.  3 times I had to take her out because she thought she was going to be sick!   This is what you get for being paper thin and having a tiny chest cavity.  Baby bird needs to beef up a bit, eat her greens and build up some bass resilience (or take ear plugs next time… whichever.)

Totally NOT addicted to bass

Totally NOT addicted to bass

As I was just about losing the will to live and considering throwing myself down the steps just to escape, the Mix finally appeared and my bassphobic child seemed to finally get into it with her little strumpet idols.  In fairness, they can sing and did put on a decent show with some semi-clad eye candy for the mums (quite obviously gay, but that doesn’t matter if you’re only looking).

So, in July, when we have tickets to see them again in Scarborough, I think it must be Bman’s turn because I have been there (twice counting last year in Liverpool) and bought the T-shirt (purchased from an unlicensed trader outside for a fiver.)  Another lesson learned by my childerbeast.  Don’t buy the overpriced low quality tat inside the venue, wait til you get outside and get cheap, low quality gear instead.

Apparently it's in his DNA

Apparently it’s in his DNA

I also learned something that night, in fact I learned two things.  (1) Yes it is possible to wrestle the cap from a bottle of Koppaberg Pear with a teaspoon and (2) before doing so, why not have a look around and you might have saved yourself the bother.

Doh!  Deffo should have gone to Specsavers

Doh! Deffo should have gone to Specsavers

Last activity of the half term tomorrow.  Dirty Dancing Campout Night at Camp Katur in Bedale. 

I will most certainly be carrying a watermelon.


The Log (as seen in the 'mangrove swamp' at The Moss)

The Log (as seen in the ‘mangrove swamp’ at The Moss)


*  Now THAT was a hangover (almost as good as the one after the Elliott Smith gig when we took Elliot and his roadies on a tour of Rusholme and Fallowfield.)

**  Little factoid – when I gave birth to childerbeast No. 2 I was wearing the Beastie Boys Tee that Bman bought at that same gig.


About TheDHW

Not loathed by totally everyone so that's good right?

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