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How the 3 Bears got teabagged and how I almost lost a finger

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I suppose I ought to write something about this summer holidays before it’s over really.

The last few weeks have gone a little bit like this…

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                                         Cheese overload at the Wensleydale Creamery.

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                                             Crap Posse on tour

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     ,                                              One tiny insect bite led to this.

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                                                     Aysgarth Falls

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Dental crikey.

My girls got new haircuts. We’ve been to the theatre. We’ve watched movies. I got necrotizing fasciitis and/or ebola on my pinky finger which is only just clearing up after almost 10 days.

We’ve been camping in the back field of a pub near Bedale for free. (Note to self: triple check that your youngest packs warm items even though you reminded her 75 times. Thus avoiding unscheduled trip to village charity shop for jumper/bodywarmer!)
  
I have concluded that mini wham bars are no friend to the unstable tooth and that it’s easier to get accepted into the Illuminati than to get an appointment with my dentist.   I discovered that I’m mentally unable to deal with more than 2 Childerbeast at a time in the overcrowded, narrow, dimly lit confines and confusions of the underground folly system of The Forbidden Corner. Particularly not whilst struggling to cope with mardy kids, kids I don’t know and kids that don’t listen when you tell them not to run off through different doors, which lock b behind them. I also had excruciating calf cramp caused by welly rub (and trying to sleep on a rickety camp bed.)   Bman, however, made a new pal, in the form of the somewhat over- enthusiastic teenage daughter of the pub landlord who randomly ended up coming with us.

Fairy tales took on a seedy undertone for me at Forbidden Corner also. It’s not every day you see your friend reprimand her son and his mate for violating the 3 Bears in a family picnic area!  I’m just glad Goldilocks wasn’t around!  #luckyescape.   Nude lady statue in the maze wasn’t as fortunate though.  Photo evidence of her assault is on FB! #dadsbehavingbadly

I decided that days out and about with the Crap Posse and our Petite YaYas was akin to a charabang trip with the Carry On team.  (Bagsy me as Joan Simms.)  In the car, out of the car; swapping seats; exchanging drivers; getting lost; stopping for a wee; back in the car; stop the car; shoes on; shoes off! Innuendos and comedy aplenty.

Me and the Childerbeast are heading to Shambala festival tomorrow, via an overnighter at my old pal DTR’s for a way overdue catch-up.
I will be reliving my backpacking days by carrying everything on my back, in or attached to, my rucksack, and a granny trolley for the Childerbeast to pull. Let’s hope the trains are not too busy or I’ll be making enemies en route, getting in everyone’s way.

Xx

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About TheDHW

Not loathed by totally everyone so that's good right?

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