Friday was not a 10 out of 10 day for me. 😦 I spent most of Friday evening in a state of quiet melancholy, stewing over every last mistake I ever made and every tiny slight I’ve ever felt (that’s a whole lot of slights – I’m more sensitive than I look). How have I got to 43 years of age and be so unsuccessfully average?
I then made the mistake of looking online at how much the salary is these days for the type of job I used to have as a secretary/P.A. I shouldn’t have done that. It did me no good. I can’t even tell you how much more it is than I earn right now, it’s too depressing. This then lead to further despair at how I have failed my children in depriving them of a better home in a more salubrious area due to the job I have chosen. One where parents of my students don’t have fights in the street after threatening each others children. (True story of the week!)
Bman could have a decent car if we both earned a decent wage. One that lasts more than two days (second true story of the week). The Fiesta we had at the start of the week has gone back to the dealership and Bman is back on his bike. Not exactly ideal transport in this weather.
The one thing that has put a smile on my face is that my new mattress arrived today. (At my age I am easily pleased). Until Bman gets a new vehicle we have no way of ditching the old one so at the moment we have a double mattress situation. Princess and the pea times.
Perhaps tonight I’ll get a better night’s sleep where I don’t lie awake stewing, pondering, letting my mind fester and wallow. Imagining ending my days as one of those old women who’s been dead in her favourite chair for weeks before anyone notices I’m missing. No savings, no pension, frozen to death in her own home and half eaten by cats.
Let’s hope so… *
* I mean hope that I sleep well, not that I end up getting eaten by my own cats