Spent 2hrs today sat waiting for death in a medical centre waiting room, conscious that it was a sexual health walk-in clinic and worried that I might see someone I knew. Before you ask (as I know you’re wondering). I was there to have my Mirena coil taken out. It expired several months ago (rather like the reason I had it in the first place). I was long overdue for this appointment so thought it best to get rid before it started to grow funghi. I was pretty sure some kind of industrial pliers or an acetylene torch might be required for its removal.
I was rather relieved when I spotted the very double of Juicy Lucy from Wentworth Prison, that she wasn’t the nurse!
Read all 4 of the shitey magazines on offer. ‘My husband fathered my grandchild on our wedding day’ – that kind of thing. Could feel the life getting sucked out of me.
I tell you what you don’t want to hear when a total stranger has their fingers up your flue and they ask you to take a deep breath? The sodding door opening and a voice saying “yoohoo!”.
Fortunately Nurse Radchett stopped whoever it was before they got sucked into the vortex of my vag.
I’ll move on…
We go on holiday, like on a plane with foreign money & everything, in a few days. Don’t bother coming to burgle the house while we’re away, unless you run the vac round & do some dusting. Nothing we have is worth squat (unless you too like parrot & flamingo niknaks).
As usual I have failed in my vague threat to lose any weight for this holiday, basically because I’m too greedy and very lazy. Can’t even blame the gimpy leg because I only did that 10 days ago. I can walk on it now, albeit slowly but it’s beautifully bruised and unattractive. Old lady times – to match my wobbly midriff and stupid hair.
Looking forward to some sun though and some swimming, if the old lamo leg can take it.