RSS Feed

Decrepitude & slothitude

Posted on

Spent 2hrs today sat waiting for death in a medical centre waiting room, conscious that it was a sexual health walk-in clinic and worried that I might see someone I knew. Before you ask (as I know you’re wondering). I was there to have my Mirena coil taken out.   It expired several months ago (rather like the reason I had it in the first place).  I was long overdue for this appointment so thought it best to get rid before it started to grow funghi. I was pretty sure some kind of industrial pliers or an acetylene torch might be required for its removal. 


NURSE! The screens please!

I was rather relieved when I spotted the very double of Juicy Lucy from Wentworth Prison, that she wasn’t the nurse!


Read all 4 of the shitey magazines on offer. ‘My husband fathered my grandchild on our wedding day’ – that kind of thing.  Could feel the life getting sucked out of me.  

I tell you what you don’t want to hear when a total stranger has their fingers up your flue and they ask you to take a deep breath? The sodding door opening and a voice saying “yoohoo!”.

Fortunately Nurse Radchett stopped whoever it was before they got sucked into the vortex of my vag.



I’ll move on…

We go on holiday, like on a plane with foreign money & everything, in a few days.  Don’t bother coming to burgle the house while we’re away, unless you run the vac round & do some dusting. Nothing we have is worth squat (unless you too like parrot & flamingo niknaks).

As usual I have failed in my vague threat to lose any weight for this holiday, basically because I’m too greedy and very lazy. Can’t even blame the gimpy leg because I only did that 10 days ago. I can walk on it now, albeit slowly but it’s beautifully bruised and unattractive. Old lady times – to match my wobbly midriff and stupid hair.


Looking forward to some sun though and some swimming, if the old lamo leg can take it.



About TheDHW

Not loathed by totally everyone so that's good right?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: