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Slugfest 2016

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Youngest offspring decided, in lieu of our not going to Shambala Festival this year, that she would camp out in the garden with her pals.  This seemed the perfect excuse to check out Blacks sale online, where I accidentally bought another tent.  A 4man pop up, double skin, 3000h. Boom! £50 thanks very much.

I festivalled-up the garden with bunting, compulsory disco ball, circus tricks equipment and blasted out an eclectic selection of festival tuneage.  Sham69 courtesy of DJ Bman. Followed by a dub reggae compilation. Some Charlatans, Ramones, Prince and then the dance tent kicked off the evening proceedings with whatever shit they play on Radio1 on Friday night, while they glittered themselves up.

Festival food comprised, pizza, cheesy chips (in a paper cup) & corn on the cob.  I fired up the trusty grilliput firebowl at dusk for some giant marshmallow toasting.  Funnily enough, my offers of running an itinerary of drumming, ukulele & hugging workshops; storytelling and late night free-dancing, were sadly rebuffed.  

No. 2 daughter would’ve been all over that if it was just me & her. Think she was just too cool in front of her mates. 


Had to go out & clear the outside of the tent of slugs at one point and lay a salt circle around the porch so they could get out to use the loo unimpeded by slimy invertebrates.

I slept downstairs so I could let them in to use the facilities. Offers of a pee bucket were also rebuffed (by them) or digging a long drop (by Bman).  I could still hear them giggling & being shrill after 3am when I finally fell asleep watching ‘I am Alan Partridge’.  “Ahaaaaah!”

Had to wake them up at 9:40. All sound asleep and looking toasty.  No sign of the hundreds of slugs. They had retreated from the protective ring of salt & gone to wherever it is slugs go when they’re not around.

I did realize this afternoon why it is that I’ve seen so many abandoned pop-up tents at festivals before. Not quite as easy to pack the bugger away as it was to throw up.  It took a few attempts, but there’s not a tent produced that has defeated me yet.  I walked away, had a sit down to calm myself then snuck up on it & caught the swine unawares from a different angle & it soon submitted.

  The fucker will rue the day it tries to avoid getting back in the carry bag on my watch!


Pissing down now and I am ensconced on the couch with Bonanza on & the prospect of a late afternoon ziz extremely likely.

Ciao ciao Xxx


About TheDHW

Not loathed by totally everyone so that's good right?

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