So I didn’t deactivate FarceBook, but I haven’t looked at it as much and to be honest it doesn’t look like I have missed much. Thank you to those who private messaged me to ask if I was alright.
I have mostly spent the last few days explaining to small people that killer clowns are not to be feared as they are just silly people with nothing better to do than stand about in bushes waving plastic weapons. Ignore them! Don’t give them the satisfaction of letting them know you actually saw them. It’s the ones without masks that look normal that they should really be afraid of. (I didn’t actually say the last bit out loud).
This ridiculous phase has even made it onto BBC Look North this evening. Complete with comedic scary looking clown imagery looming over a map of North Yorkshire. Cut to John Cundy, Crime Correspondent, reporting very seriously, from somewhere or other on the matter. Could only have been more entertaining if he had been wearing a red nose or a green wig. Privately I am hoping that off camera, out of view, he was sporting giant hooped trousers under his mac or a pair of ludicrously bendy giant shoes just to try and make the camera man lose his focus.
You know I would have done if it was me…. and this is why I’ll never be a serious news reporter.
Meanwhile, to prove that the dead don’t scare me nearly as much as the living – I have booked to go spend an evening investigating 30 East Drive in Pontefract in the New Year with my friend. It is one of, if not THE most (allegedly) haunted house in the UK. (AKA money for old rope). Quite the cash cow so it would seem. Am considering installing Bman in the loft to moan and make unusual smells (skills he has in spades) while I charge £60 a head, 5 nights a week, for people to sit in my lounge in the dark, asking if there’s anybody there.