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My mangey pussy & 20 seconds to comply

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Had to take the eldest cat to the vets after work on Friday. because she is suffering from a bad case of scabby skin.
I was all of a sweat lather as I had to get home sharpish after Mexican Mayhem Harvest afternoon at work. (I hadn’t even cooked, I just turned up with my class, chatted up the natives and took photos for the website – but I was still hot & bothered). I had to walk with the cat in the pet carrier because Bman was at the garage picking up the car after its MOT.  I felt like Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation when his aunt gives him a cat wrapped up in a box. She was jiggling about a lot and it was cumbersome to carry.  It got worse when I realized half-way down Wild Grove that she’d done a shit and was trying to get out of the box to escape it.  It bloody stank!

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😀

Slightly embarrassing taking her into the surgery and apologizing for the stench.  The nurse was fine of course, probably quite used to being elbow deep in animal shite for a living.  Seemingly she is ok.  Just an allergy to a flea bite so needed a bit of a flea treatment. (The cat not the nurse).  I don’t really understand though how last time we took Alan Lickman to the vet he had 2 sprays of flea treatment and we got stiffed £13.  This time, we got 2 vials of treatment – one for each cat and it cost £6.94!  Bloody Herr Klopek, who dealt with us last time must’ve seen us coming!

Yesterday I decided to go into Bradford and make a start on some ‘C-word’ shopping with my eldest offspring. I was hoping she’d photograph me against a background of comedy characters and Royston Vasey types to help me illustrate this blog.  To be honest though, it seemed fairly normal. No drunken old folk falling over after a fight outside the pub and losing their false teeth in the gutter (this actually did happen once). We did see this guy in the Broadway Centre. though.

We watched for a couple of minutes but then I got the fear as I remembered how this shit went down in ‘Robocop’.  I feared for a “You have 20 seconds to comply” moment and steered my daughter out of harms way into Paperchase, where we could “coo” &  “aww” at overpriced novelty useless shiz and ludicrously priced paperclips and rubbers.

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Have these people never seen this movie?

 

 Made it home without hearing a “Hya Miss” from anyone and settled down for an evening listening to thousands of pounds going up in smoke outside for Bonfire Night. We opted to stay in and watch the classic 80’s movie, ‘Heathers’ (my girls needed educating that shows like ‘Pretty Little Liars’ and ‘Mean Girls’ didn’t just invent themselves!)  The alternative would have been to attend the pikey bonfire party at the local pub.  The last time we went to that, my girl was almost hit by a rogue banger and a trip to the loo inside the pub was like being an extra in ‘Shameless’.  I vowed then that I would never go again.  Needless to say it sounded like New Years Eve in Beirut until well after midnight.

Today I have mostly done fuck all except a bit of ironing and made tea.  Right now I am squirming at the brilliant new David Attenborough programme, ‘Planet Earth 2’.  I defy you not to squeal or cringe a little at the marine lizard dudes trying to escape the racing snakes. Get it watched on iplayer if you missed it.  That’s a thing y’all – lizards that swim and fucking racing snakes!  Holy shit!

Mother nature is terrifying and beautiful – a cruel mistress indeed.

Ciao Xx

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About TheDHW

Not loathed by totally everyone so that's good right?

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