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New Year & the Queen is (not yet) dead

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So we’re a day into 2017 and it seems to be much the same old, same old. Multiple fatalities in shoot-ups and fires abroad. A 12-year-old killed on NYE in a hit & run in Oldham. (Shame on you driver. Turn yourself in and face your responsibilities).  Was fairly quiet round here.  I fell asleep watching a movie in bed with eldest child while Bman (who’d got a flyer from work so was home early) did his DJ bit downstairs.  I woke up after an hour and we all saw in the stroke of midnight together on the couch.   The TV offering was, as per, utter shite.  Robbie Williams and an indecent amount of money spent on fireworks, which could have been spent on the homeless. Or Jools Holland & whoever was still left alive to appear on the show  (I bet he had about 3 back-up lists).

I didn’t stay up much later than that.

I think, this year, I might put 50p in a jar every time I hear Bman talk (or sing) about having a shit! I reckon I could have enough for a holiday by March.  This morning’s rendition was something about “Though I walk through the valley of death, I shall shit no evil”. 

I bet you do though love.

Hell if I saved 50p everytime he took a shit aswell, I could retire by June.  The man needs specialist medical help or an industrial strength colonic or something.

Nurse!  The screens and a large wheelie bin please!

75s5p

Weighed myself this morning to see how much timber I’ve put on since we broke up. Only 1kg! So am all good to shovel a few more Quality Street today while we watch a family movie together – namely ‘Suicide Squad’. (Gone are the days of the likes of ‘Elmo saves Christmas’ or ‘Ice Age’).

suicide-squad-movie-characters-calendar

 *Festive family viewing

 

Have managed to arrange half a Crap Posse visit in February up to Farndale (with emergency liver transplant required for the next week no doubt).  

 Trying to sort Brighton but may need to just invite self, as cunty friend is unsociable and reclusive (or possibly is just avoiding me because I am annoying).
  Also n
eed a Scarborough visit too.  Sea air and appeasing the MiL & all that, although am sure that a fortnight with her in Florida in April should top up her piggy bank of grandchild time for the entire year!  

Have floated suggestion to Bman of implementing some kind of Date Night. He looked alarmed & lacking in enthusiasm but I’m working on it.  Am also working on tuning out the white noise of negativity & criticism this year. “La La La **fingers in ears** I cannot hear you. Your words will not dull my sparkle in 2017″.

funny-meme-relax-resizecrop

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Got an appointment with dermatologist soon to have some moles checked out. Sure it will be fine but heads up that if it turns out to be terminal, shit’s gonna get real in 2017 because I won’t go quietly. I may take some of you down with me.  I’ll keep you informed y’all.

Ciao Tutti! Xx

*I quite enjoyed it actually

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About TheDHW

Not loathed by totally everyone so that's good right?

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