LaterSong lyric of the day: “Seems I can’t deny. Some days just don’t feel right. I think I feel much better, at night”. – At Night, Shakedown
Been following doctor’s orders this week and doing what gets the old endorphins going. Namely, exercising on my LTT and doing a bit of yoga, reading and listening to music.
Still waiting for an appointment for some counseling but my Boss did say she would ring them with a referral for me. I guess it has only been a week.
Meanwhile, I decided to take a walk into Sadford yesterday. I documented my journey on my camera phone.
Scenic, I’m sure you’ll agree.
I was beeped and gesticulated at by 4 different white van men en-route. Flattering as that may be at 45 years of age, I’m not sure what they were trying to achieve? Did they think I would whoop with joy and flag them down for a quick jump up against the fence of the tip?
Anyway, usually Bman tells me that going into Sadford works wonders for the self-esteem. Yesterday however all it did was make me sad and suffer a massive guilt trip over having brought offspring into the world at all, let alone into this shithole that we are now trapped in.
I felt a bit like Shaun (of the Dead) as he and his pals fake being zombies in order to gain entry to The Winchester. I felt as though I should affect some kind of limp or lurching gait to blend in otherwise I’d be spotted as an imposter or hunted down for my skin. Like that race they have in Nevada where women clad only in a pair of trainers run though the desert away from a pack of male ‘hunters’.
I had far too many of my own teeth left and a full compliment of working limbs and not enough disfigurements to pass as a native. It was like being on the Island of Doctor Moreau or in Josef Menegle’s lab!
I bought 3 vests and pair of skinny jeans to try and ease the horror then wandered into Ann Summers because there was a sale on. You know how women are attracted to a SALE poster like moths to a flame. There was a rather unfortunate looking lady in there, at the back of the store (if you know what I’m saying) with her young son who looked about 3. He seemed overly interested in the ‘toy’ items on the shelves. She made a big show of dragging him out of the store past all the role play costumes, saying she should probably come back another day without him. Yeah! Do you think?
I wasn’t sure what made me the most uncomfortable about this scene. That she was in there at all or that she was in there with the young boy.
Way to go anyway love for trying to keep the fire burning.
Today I was visited by an old friend briefly, who thoughtfully brought a lovely card and gift after hearing that I had ‘low mood’ -that’s what it says on my sick note – doc speak for ‘off her fucking nut’).
Later Bman took me out for some lunch via Tong Garden Centre, where we looked at overprice Bromelias and a baffling collection of garden ornaments. Didn’t make purchase despite my being partial to a ‘cockatoo’ (think about it).
Opted not to have lunch at the garden centre as we were clearly 25 years too young and not infirm enough and were still (pretty much) in control of our faculties. It was a glimpse of the future though.
Went instead to a country pub down the road for a tuna melt panini infront of the Cheltenham races on the TV.
And briefly, all felt right with the world.
Hope it lasts.
Ciao tutti Xx