Wake up foolish pink human slave! For I demand the finest cat foods known to humanity. And I demand them now. (but I will only eat a mere mouthful before walking away with an air of disgust). I shall then proceed to immediately shit in the litter tray and scratch around it noisily whilst singing you a lilting melody, scattering grit to the 4 corners of the house.
This will prompt you to chase me around the house in your undergarments, cursing me with names I do not understand before you finally catch me and put me outside.
Then my mission will be to flap at the letterbox or clamber at the window, mewling pitifully until one of the younger human kitten types caves and let’s me back in.
Thus, the cycle will begin anew….
Miaow ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!