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Poltergeists and swimming with dollies

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Friday night Linda and I spent the night at 30 East Drive. This was a rearranged visit from when we were meant to go to back in March but it got cancelled when we had that arctic snap.
Had to call in at the local again first though. It did not disappoint.  Spent a most informative half hour with ‘Donna’ regaling us with tales of her experiences with the afterlife.


All hail the Chequerfield – everyone’s favourite local – love it!

The premise of the East Drive story is that in the late 1960’s some weird shit supposedly went down at this semi in Pontefract. Not many people knew about it but now… the place has become something of a cash cow for various paranormal investigation groups, the owner of the house and no doubt, the lady who lives next door.


We’re heeeeeeere!

I usually have a bit of a vibe for these things and after two visits I’m not convinced that there’s anything happening there that can’t be explained by science, common sense or the power of suggestion on a susceptible mind.

Didn’t stop us having a great night, particularly as many of the other guests were noobs to this kind of thing. One actually left early doors – not sure if it was because she realized very early in the game that the house (IMO) is about as haunted as my anus, or she was creeped out and bailed for safety.

So cue the usual comedy torchlit selfies and calling out for “copy me” while tapping on tables and listening for people’s bellies to reply.  We also found a Buckaroo in the teenage girl’s bedroom.  Shadow theatre time…


I’m not saying I don’t ‘believe’.  I’ve experienced strange shit before that I can’t really explain. I’m just saying I need rather more convincing than the odd rattle, scratch or tap that could easily be explained by settling houses, heat expansion, cold, vermin etc.

We had opted for the full overnighter and much to our joy, we were the only ones who were staying.  TBH by 3:30am though I was done in and rather than rake around upstairs, we stayed in the living room and I was asleep fairly quickly in a purportedly haunted rocking chair.  Despite my skepticism, I did not get into my sleeping bag in case a speedy exit was necessary. Didn’t fancy Scooby Dooing it out the door entangled in my sleeping bag just in case the resident poltergeist decided to prove me wrong.


Don’t forget your penguin Scoob!


‘Haunted’ or not, I was going to sleep

We had more of a wander after about 90 minutes sleep once it was daylight. And what better way to coax the undead from the shadows than finding some party hats in a drawer and putting them on?
I’ve seen
“The Book of Life” and “Corpse Bride” – it looks like one long colourful continual party in the afterlife.


We didn’t want the ‘haunted’ rock to feel left out

We also managed to (in our opinion) debunk the mystery of the creaky creepy opening door in the main bedroom, which had freaked everyone out the night before. I have fingerprint-shaped bruises on my left forearm from Linda squeezing it to bits and mumbling “foooooooookinnnnnn hellllllll” into my ear.   Scary at the time. However in the fresh light of day, nothing to see here people. Just a huge coincidence and a door left ajar coming loose from the carpet and opening – albeit with an atmospheric house of horror creaking sound effect.

Fab night though, despite remaining unconvinced that there is a resident poltergeist or the spirit of the dead dad lurking in the bathroom, or a misunderstood monk (“I didn’t force her!”)  Not sure when our next investigation will be. But I do want to check out Newsham Park Abandoned Hospital near Liverpool – just not sure when we can manage to do that. But if anyone out there needs me to come round, debunk your creaky house and fall asleep in a chair after I’ve raked about in all your drawers and worn all your hats – then give me a call.


Meanwhile, I am now qualified to teach Baby and Preschool swim classes. And, despite what you might think, does not just mean, “sticking armbands on a snotty kid and letting them bob about in the shallow end”.  Cheeky!
I already kind of miss ‘Cleveland’ – my training dolly, after taking care of him for 3 days last week while on my training course.  I might have to get myself my very own Cleveland.  So bring on the babies.  I’m ready…

Later duuuuudes Xx


About TheDHW

Not loathed by totally everyone so that's good right?

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