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When Ian Botham was in the Rebel Alliance

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Actual conversation this morning in Casa Brew:-

Me: It was just total boffins big Brew (I forget what I was referring to)

Bman: Boffins? what like as in “Many Boffins died to bring us this information”

Me:  They weren’t boffins, they were Bothans

Bman: Yeah boffins.

Me: No Both with a Thhhhh not Boff like with a Ffff

Bman: Like B o g g i n s

Me:  That’s boggins honey with a G, that’s not a word

Bman: B o t h a m s ?  Wait no that’s like as in Ian?

Me: Bothans were the Star Wars ones. Boffins are science bods. Botham was a cricketer

Bman: Sure it wasn’t boffins?  Surely the Bothans must have been boffins too then?

Me:  (starts googling jpegs of Bothans and Boffins)

 

 

Me:  Anyway, I meant bobbins not boffins, Bothans or Bothams.  Bobbins. It was bobbins*!

 

This is why we should be on Gogglebox… or not!

We then took Alan Lickman on a planned visit to the vets for a check up on his special eye and for them to have a gander at the swollen lump on his neck which started to form yesterday. On the way up to the vets though,  I detected a rank smell in the car and we thought he might have done a shit in his cat box.  But no… the lump had burst!  

D I S G U S T I N G!

They’ve cleaned him up and he seems a bit more on form although he looks even more like General Woundwort than he did before with his special eye and his ragged face.

woundwort

How much did I chuckle though when I asked Bman if he’d fed him since they came back and (referring to the liquid cat food we have to give him) he said he’d given him “two soups”

I think we all know what I was picturing in my head.

twosoups

 

Hopefully he is still covered by his pet insurance and hasn’t maxed himself out yet.  I will be on the blower to them tomorrow to clarify. I want to know whether or not we are having Christmas or not this year, or we’re all eating cat soups and sleeping in the same bed with our coats on to keep warm because we can’t put the heating on.

Later MoFos Xx

*bobbins = utter rubbish, worthless

About TheDHW

Not loathed by totally everyone so that's good right?

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