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Halfway through yet another week

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Today I didn’t get up until 1:30pm!  Idle twat! 

Possibly some kind of hangover from having to make self presentable for youngest offspring’s parent/teacher evening yesterday.   After about half an hour of it I started to find it a bit stressful dealing with so many people, but fortunately all her teachers were very positive about her, which made it easier to cope with.

Well done schmoo.  Mama loves you very much. Xxx

When I did finally decide to function today, I opted to test out my new toy.  An electric weed killing doodad.

 It was quite therapeutically satisfying and I like to think I looked like Sigourney Weaver in Aliens.

DIE Dandelions DIE!!

Got first mental well-being counselling session tomorrow with Nurse Radchet. If there’s an Indian chief in an open backed nightdress in the waiting room with a sink above his head, I might just get straight back in the car.

Juicy fruit anyone?

Planning ahead with our friend Captain Ebay

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Yeah I know it’s not Shambala Festival until August Bank Holiday weekend, but there’s no time like the present to plan your Cloud Cuckoo Land fancy dress theme outfits.

We’re thinking Mary Berry masks and unicorn onesies. Mary Berrycorns if you will.

If I see any other Mary Berrycorns at the festival it will tell me that either more people read this blog than I thought. Or that there are other equally insane minded people out there and we should become immediate friends.

With glitter spray and sequined items for none fancy dress parade activities of course.

Am not sure my brother in law appreciates what he is letting himself in for.


Step on

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Hurrah! My new stepper arrived today after I broke my last one.  It’s been 3 long weeks. I NEED to get back aboard this baby. Particularly after a fortnight of eating crap in the U.S of A.  AKA Krispy Kreme donut central.

I can use Lumiere as a hand weight

My neicelings came to see me today. Disney souvenirs were distributed, cakes were eaten & holiday snaps were shown.   I want to do it all again and take them with me.   

Better get playing the lottery then eh?

My bestest girlies

Back to reality…

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Well now you’re back. From outer space. – Well Florida in the good old U.S of A to be accurate.

I should write a comprehensive review of the entire holiday but to be honest, I can’t be fagged. Mostly because it will surely be the online equivalent of making people sit through a slideshow of your holiday photos in a darkened lounge.

Suffice to say. I had a lovely time. I was mostly relaxed, helped occasionally by prescription anxiety meds and despite gritted teeth at trying to explain things twelvty thousand times to family members who won’t or can’t listen.  

My husband and eldest daughter were twanged 100m into the air in a glorified garden chair.  We spent the evenings raccoon watching.  I almost trod on a snake and we were quite happy to hand over $5 for one ice-lolly at Disneyworld. We even saw Ant & Dec, who unsurprisingly, completely ignored us when we sang ‘Let’s Get Ready to Rumble’ at them.
I also now have biceps like Hulk Hogan from pushing the Mil around various attractions in a wheelchair. Lou & Andy style.

We have cornered the market in fridge magnets, eaten more shrimp than necessary, survived without any mozzie bites, met some princesses and pretty much decided that indeed it was the holiday of a lifetime – mainly because we never want to go on holiday together ever again.


It remains to be seen how I will feel once reality of being back in Sadford kicks in.  I already miss the sun; loos that flush themselves, and the politeness and friendliness of the natives. 

I am not missing the decibel level of snoring from Bman, who scaled new heights of noisiness on American soil, to the point of waking himself up! Not sure what that was about. 


Snaps to Kathy at Orlando airport for saving us from having a technical meltdown while trying to print out our boarding passes. And to the lovely Quentin at Brueggers in Philadelphia airport for patiently helping us get rid of our pockets full of American shrapnel.

Would I go again?  Yes. Although I doubt I will ever be able to afford it again.

So, close the curtains, make a cuppa and sit yourself in a darkened room and check out a select crop of my holiday snaps.


One of the many pools at Westgate Lakes Resort



That’s $10 of lolly right there



Blues Brothers show at Universal



My daughter & husband are up there!





I want that one!




Hulk ride at Universal



not sure who this lot are – Disney Hollywood Studios





This photo pretty much sums up these pair

The end is nigh…

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Last day of jolly holidays today.  I plan to spend it poolside & stockpile as much vitamin D as possible before we go home. I also need a day to psyche self up for flight home, where I then intend to avoid crowds & trying to make conversation or try to please everyone, for a considerable length of time.

Will blog properly when I get home but in the meantime here are a few pics. (None of them are of me sitting in bed wearing an expression of murderous loathing toward my snoring husband though).

Going on rides does at least wake you up after a night of disturbed sleep!

This beats Bradford any day

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Yesterday I saw alligators in the wild and I even held a young one. It was softer than I expected.  Wild Willie’s Airboat Tours was amazing. I highly recommend a trip with Captain Eddie. So knowledgeable & friendly.

Today I tried deep fried alligator bites. (Yes I know I’m a vegetarian but you know, when in Rome & all that. Not going to get chance to try gator in Bradford Broadway am I?) It tasted like scampi TBH. 

Also went to Disney Hollywood Studios. After years of wanting to, I finally went on the Tower of Terror. I loved it! Ma B (aka G-Dog) & the Bman, were not so keen.  Lol.

Bman also had to revise his opinion that the Aerosmith rock n  rollercoaster ‘looked lame, like something from Scarborough’. It was far from lame and I think the ride photo speaks volumes here:-


G-Dog was hassled by a Jawa at the Star Wars Launch Bay exhibit. It tried to dismantle her wheelchair but didn’t want to buy her off us.

 I whooped with joy at Boba Fett & thoroughly enjoyed the Star Wars simulation ride.

Kennedy Space Centre tomorrow, where if anyone else has a face like a smacked arse, tells me they’re tired or states the obvious about their feet are aching’ or it’s too hot’ I will personally launch them into space myself!

😁 #familyholidayjoy

Why live in the world when you can live in your head?

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Not one to brag or stick my head in the sand over the impending World War 3 situation looming with the U.S around Syria or anything… but I totally met Ariel and Belle yesterday.

I’m sat in a seashell with a mermaid MoFos


These are absolutely not just pictures of a crazy English woman losing her shit over having a photo with a couple of young women in elaborate fancy dress costumes.
Yeah I am wearing connies with a dress and I am wearing a pair of Minnie Mouse ears. Don’t judge me!

Am pretty sure Belle also has Connies on under that dress