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When I wasn’t kidnapped by a lunatic and didn’t have to go home naked

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So since I went ghostbusting last weekend not much has happened TBH.
I did run for the bus twice in one day and not piss myself though, so that’s a massive success at my age! Proves that the old pelvic floor exercises are working. I’ll be opening that Marmite jar before you know it. (See this entry from January this year World’s strongest Vajayjay)

bus

Also managed to take 2 hours to get home on Saturday thanks to the 508 being an utter bastard. WYMetro FFS! It’s all very well having digital bus timetables telling passengers how long it is until the bus comes, but if you’re stood waiting, watching it countdown from 14 minutes to DUE and then the fucker doesn’t turn up – it would be an understatement to say how annoying that is. Especially when it happens twice.
Ended up getting a 72 and sharing a taxi the rest of the way with a random lady I got chatting to at the bus stop.  In retrospect she could have been a serial killer with an elaborate ruse to lure me to her underground sexual torture bunker. A female cross between Ted Bundy and Josef Fritzl or Tubbs trying to get a wife for David. 

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Luckily she either wasn’t a serial killer or she is, and didn’t fancy the cut of my jib (or the all pervading whiff of chlorine).

 

Yesterday I had a micro drama at work when I got out at the end of my classes to discover that the key was no longer there for my locked locker. I keep it in my phone case on a stool at poolside but it wasn’t there at 7pm. I suspect it may have come out of the case and fallen into the pool and gone down the side of the bench.  

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It’s not my nude day

After an initial panic and an offer from a swim parent to have a go at cracking the lock with a screwdriver, I managed to find a spare key in the office so was able to get dressed. At least I didn’t have to go home on the bus with my parka on over my damp swimwear or wrapped in a towel.  Bman’s car was in the garage so he wouldn’t have been able to come collect me if I’d rung him.

Simpsons

I’m sure it will turn up somewhere random eventually.

🙂

Think I might venture into Leeds tomorrow in an attempt to not sit at home on my day off, snacking gratuitously.  Otherwise by Christmas I will look like Baymax from Big Hero 6.

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Must stop eating my own homemade cereal bars

I believe that this may all actually be a big fat lie

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I’m fully aware that in advertising, marketing companies like to big-up their product and do the hard sell, but is it just me that finds the following TV ad a tad too much to bear?

Long term readers may remember my many past posts regaling the life and high times of my journey into Leeds on the 508 (the number of the beast).   And I have to say that even through rose-tinted retrospect(acles) I have no memory of my commute being anything like this.

All aboard the Skylark!

My fellow passengers and I joining hands to skip gaily down The Headrow to hop aboard the already packed; dirt blackened windowed; piss stinking, miserable driver operated,  Halifax bus.

Like the mascara & moisturising cream adverts, I think there should be some kind of disclaimer at the foot of the ad.

E.G. “The occupants of these buses have been digitally enhanced in post-production

Or  “The passengers on this bus have been chemically enhanced with Methamphetemine and White Lightening”

Oy! First Bus – you’re fooling nobody!

 

Am off to Whitby for the weekend tomorrow with pals. and NO! IT BLOODY WELL ISN’T THE GOTH WEEKEND!

PS: and No!  I am not going on the bus…