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There is a Swansea

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In an effort to not get cabin fever on the second of my weekly days off and to allow the Bman to actually have his day off at home without anyone in the house – I went into Leeds today so he could yell at his laptop in peace.

Not Bradford.

Leeds.

Bright lights. Big City y’all! Oh yeah!

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Going out! and not wearing trackydaks or swimmers!

En route, I spotted this locksmith’s van which deserves some snaps. Well done that man with a van.

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 a carriage of no horse drawn – belching Satan’s black wind into our clean and local air

I survived the bus journey into town despite having forgotten my mp3 or any headphones so I could listen to music on my phone.  Took a while to eventually tune out the incessant babble of the teenage girls on the bus with their,”yeah but no but yeah but no. but he said right, and OMG I’m so small I can’t even fit in a size 6 in New Look yeah because I think I must be like a 4 or summink”

Oh boohoo adorable youthful thin person. That must be terrible.

😦

Once in Leeds I ended up drifting into Forbidden Planet to check out their Funko pop Vinyl sale and was ridiculously thrilled to see the legendary Pixie the Adventure Puss in the actual flesh fur! What a beautifully coloured tortoise-shell she is too, and I commented such to her ‘dad’.
I can’t see our Alan Lickman going for it with the old getting walked on a harness though.

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No!

Or Pepper, who would probably collapse with fright like Mr Jelly when a leaf fell on his head.  She almost imploded with fear the time we drove her 2 streets away in the car to the cattery the other year when we went to Orlando.

On a whim, when realising how close I was to Pieminister, I went in to treat myself to a lone lunch.  ‘Chooks Away’ (vegan chicken) pie with mash, gravy and minted mushy peas with a pot of tea.
Read my book and watched the world go by along Boar Lane as I thought to myself,
 “This is awesome. I’m a very lucky girl” and I felt rather blessed. Such a northern bird – easily satisfied with a pie.

😀

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Yes of course I took a photo of my lunch. #pieminister

I was about to head home when my attention was grabbed by a window display of Halloween themed items in HomeSense.  Showing what I consider as remarkable restraint, I resisted the urge to make purchase of a £15 large snowglobe of stacked glittery pumpkins which, when wound up, played the tune of, “Ding Dong the witch is dead”.  Surely some sort of award should be presented to me for such willpower (possibly a £15 musical pumpkin snowglobe from HomeSense perhaps?)

🙂

Naturally I may have to go back into Leeds after Halloween to see if it has been reduced, because of course that kind of quality item isn’t just for Halloween y’all. Get that shit on display all year round!

Ciao Ciao Bitches 

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come sisters, we fly!

 

Anybody know what day it is?

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We’re in that holiday wasteland of betwixt Christmas and New Year. Lucky enough to not have to be in work but now trapped in the house pondering what to do/eat/drink/watch next. 

A bit like this in our house just now… it could go either way if I don’t get out of the house and away from the Fam soon.

JackN

We did all venture into Leeds yesterday, which was as unhealthy as it sounds.  Lunch at Taco Bell en famille then parted ways because, as I explained to the Bman, why the fuck would two teenage girls want to go round the shops with their Christmas money with their parents in tow?
I abandoned the queue for the changing rooms in Debenhams and decided to just buy the bloody dress regardless.  Then the fates intervened and the queue for the cash desk was also irritatingly slow – how long does it take to exchange one pair of jeans for another pair FFS? – so I abandoned the purchase altogether and we went home.

In the evening we decided to watch ‘Birdbox’ on Netflix.  I’d added it to my watch list long before all the hype on Twitter so thought we best get it seen before some cunt gave the all the spoilers away online.  I was warned by eldest offspring not to “do what you always do Mum” – which is to say, announce the plot twist/outcome just before the denouement. What can I say? It’s a witchy intuitive thing.  TBH I was too preoccupied with how amazing Sandra Bullock looks for 54 to blurt out any spoilers.

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Why yes… I believe I would…

Great film though.  Kids then watched ‘Bandersnatch’ – the ‘Black Mirror’ pick your path episode.  I took their word for it that it was decent.  I can’t be arsed farting about choosing cereals and plot choices. Was never into those pick your path stories as a kid either.

Today and over the next couple of days, I have a list of dumb jobs I need to do because they need doing and if I don’t have some kind of purpose, I may hurt someone.   The Childerbeast have already mocked me for writing up phone numbers for work in an address book.  Apparently, that’s ‘such a Mum thing to do’.   We’ve sorted our wardrobes out and Bman has been to do a drop-off at the local charity shop.  I’ve changed the shower curtain and vacpacked the Christmas jumpers/PJs/Slippers back up to go back in the loft until next year.  I have a stack of ironing to do and the rest of the festive food and drink to get rid of. Also, need to test the landline phone. It fell into my glass of Advocaat on Christmas morning (don’t judge me!) and sounded a bit quiet when we spoke to Bman’s mum.  Not used it since. Need to check to see if it’s totally fucked or not.

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Me

I expect that by the time I return to work on the 8th, I will be able to perform this trick.

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skills to aspire to

We are on high home invasion alert after a house was broken into yesterday only a few doors up from us – at tea time no less!
With tempers and tensions being heightened at Chez Brew, I think it would be unwise of any would-be burglar to give it a shot at our house. Not that we’ve anything worth stealing. They’d be more likely to leave stuff behind for us out of pity TBH.  Nonetheless I am fully prepared to protect my family and my property (if I’m not too fat full of booze and Christmas food to get up off my arse).

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Don’t make me come down there y’all!

For now, I’m watching ‘Escape to Victory’ and planning my own escape (but from holiday limbo ennui rather than a German prisoner of war camp).

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No no, one of us needs to go outside even if it’s just to the bin

The usual round of the year in pictures and memes will doubtless be posted on Monday (that’s NYE for those of you who have now lost all concept of days and time). That’s unless I’ve had a heart attack before then.  Every day I am convinced this is how I will die.  “must get healthier. Must get healthier!” (as she pours another drink and pops more Pringles).

Ciao Ciao Xx