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What the …..?

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How the hell is it almost 2 weeks ago since I last posted?  We’re almost half way through January already!  So far nothing has changed.  I am no slimmer. Not especially any the wiser but I am still alive and haven’t killed anybody so that has to be good right?

I had an alcohol-free cocktail night out in Chester last weekend to celebrate a very good friend’s birthday. It’s all very well saying that you do alcohol-free cocktails but have you ever looked at a menu of fancy schmanzy hipster cocktails lately? Mince pie bellinis.  Cocopop vodka and ovaltine (you think I jest… but it’s true).  I was told I could have anything on the menu but they’d leave the booze out.  Essentially if I’d gone down that route, I’d have been left with a jam jar of crushed ice, a sprig of mint and some lime cordial.  No doubt for only a quid less than an actual cocktail.  I felt a bit like that sock monkey on the PG Tips ad.  “I think I’ll just keep it tea”.

Instead I had 3 orange and lemonades and a lime & soda* and watched my friends and some people I’ve never met before, get a bit tipsy.

This week I have held a tarantula, stroked a meerkat, a skunk, a giant lizard and had a marmoset sit on my shoulder and wasn’t freaked out by it’s freakishly small humanoid hands.  Also learned that keeping a raccoon as a domestic pet isn’t (as I suspected) a good idea even if it was allowed.  Unlucky there Bman.  No birthday raccoon for you my love.



Tiny High-Five MoFo!

 Anyone who knows me well enough won’t even need to question how, when, or why this happened.  Just accept it as truth and move on…


So thus far, January is ticking along quite nicely thanks.

Toodles! Xx

*I’m not pregnant or anything. I’m just having a dry January after the excesses of December.


The night I met Sooty’s hand – another Nessa story to add to the collection

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Enjoyed a rare evening out in Chester Saturday night. Food and haphazardly mixed cocktails at the Slug & Leper, but with a 50% off food voucher and 2-4-1 cocktails all night you can’t complain.

I’m a bit funny about going out in Chester. It’s not something I’ve been entirely comfortable with since about 1995 to be honest. Ghosts around every corner and vivid memories of grappling drunkenly with the 051 doorman posse.

Saturday was alright though. Probably helped by just staying in the one place and hiding away at the back of the bar; only venturing forth to the actual bar twice because it took so long to get served. Everyone else managed fine. Bar staff just do not seem to notice me these days and I’m not sure when that happened. I hit 37 and suddenly gained the power of invisibility when it comes to bar staff. Perhaps I need bigger hair, more make-up & shorter outfits?

I was quite thrilled to meet the person who puppeteers Sooty, but slightly disappointed that the little yellow fella didn’t join us for cocktails. Maybe next time, and he could bring Sue, who I suspect is a bit of a minx in her free-time!

Didn’t feel that rough the following morning, which was a bonus. I even managed to see both sibs – a cheeky lift to Chester from Manc from my Bro on Saturday and a stealth visit to Manchester Art Gallery on Sunday to see my Sis. Nice!

Comedy moments which will entertain me for a while are:- me getting ready to go out and hearing the following song on the radio and thinking; “Ah good old Shakin Stevens”

What a Muppet! (me not John Lennon, or indeed Shaky)

The phrases:- “Chest Residue”Simon Groome” and “They were all on a barge dressed as sailors, then went round town in a homo” will amuse me for far too long I’m sure.

Man I love my friends and family!

Next time I’m out and about is in Boro (where strangely, I feel far more comfortable) for Bman’s 40th in 2 weeks time.  We accidentally drank too much wine and Farcebook invited loads of people, many of whom have RSVP’d in the positive – which should be entertaining although possibly not for the right reasons.

Watch this space!

Joyous moments in parenthood # 3 (or why I love my children eleventy zillion times around the moon and to Morrisons & back)

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When one of your childerbeast senses your need and mood and presents you with a Santa Claus tray with handpicked flowers, a love note and a Mango & Grapefruit juice cocktail.


Next steps:  advise that French Martinis make mummy even happier.

Bless Xx