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Happy Halloween Mothercluckas

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Halloween is like my Christmas and it’s all over for another year already.

😦

Had an enjoyable day as it is half-term – off work, Childerbeast off school. They helped me make a doughnut-shaped cake and pumpkin soup.  My chocolate ribcage turned out better than expected and I finally got to dress as Melanie Daniels from Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds’.  This caused no end of confusion to the local children who had no idea who I was meant to be or why I had stuffed crows on my head when I answered the door. To be honest I doubt the local adults knew either.

 

Youngest offspring had her pals round and fair play to them for coming up with the triple costume idea of dressing as ‘Heathers’.

 

 

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We watched the weirdest film in a long time – ‘Midsommar‘ by the same dude who made ‘Hereditary’.  It made ‘The Wicker Man‘ seem like a lovely feelgood movie about rural life.

Very strange film.

Yesterday I took the childerbeast to Kirkstall Abbey for at atmospheric evening screening in the dark and the fog of ‘Hocus Pocus’. Sanderson Sisters tribute act did a bit of audience participation stuff and it was quite cool (chilly in fact) watching it on a big screen while actual bats fluttered around infront of the screen.

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Bman and I (inbetween bickering about nothing and making one another feel bad) did have a strange bedtime conversation on Halloween as we watched a thing on Talking Pictures channel called ‘The Legend of the Witch’. It was a 1970s documentary about the origins of witches and the modern-day witch (as it would have been in the late 1960s). It was essentially a lot of titular bullcrap about people getting naked and dancing about,  literally kissing one another’s bottoms, killing chickens and worshipping Lucifer.
This led Bman to suggest an idea for a Channel 5 reality show where celebrity has-beens compete in acts of paganism and witchcraft.  Sacrificing for survival alongside the likes of Chris Akabussi,  David Van Day and Cheryl Baker et al, all taking part in naked rituals or satanic rites. Compered by someone like Christine Hamilton or that woman vicar who used to be on Gogglebox.  Claudia Winkleman could do the spin-off show on FiveStar.

It’s only a matter of time before that shit actually happens.

It’s November MoFos.  Do not mention the C word (no, not THAT one. I like that one. The other one!)

Xx

 

Can I get a….. BOO!

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Currently trying to watch a supernatural thriller on Netflix called ‘Malevolent’.  I’m not getting the full force of the malevolence though due to Bman playing plinky plonky music on his PC in the kitchen while the children bicker over the washing up and the reflection of the kitchen strip light glares onto the TV screen.
From what I can gather so far, Celia Imrie of Acorn Antiques is going a bit Annie Wilkes/Sweeny Todd and I doubt it’s going to end well.

My recommendations on this Day of the Dead would be Andy Nyman’s ‘Ghost Stories’ (which I am currently selling on eBay) and ‘Hereditary’ which was weird as hell and had a decent few jump/horror moments which creeped us out pretty good last night.  The kids had to watch a couple of episodes of ‘The Big Bang Theory’ before they would venture upstairs.

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Alan Lickman is getting on board with the Halloween/Dia de los Meurtos time of the year by trying to creep us out. He’s taken to staring at nothing down the side of the washer. So we reckon he can either:-

a)  See a tiny demon down there like the one from Stephen King’s Cat’s Eyes & will kill it before it sucks out our breath in the night (then he’ll do it instead – spoiler alert).

or

b) He senses the air from the hole at the back where the pipe goes outside & is planning to tunnel out somehow.

He is busting to go outside but we daren’t let him out yet in case he gets his jaw stud gets caught on a fence or something and ends up dangling from his chin! That’d be more expense to add to the accruing amount he is now costing us while I watch next year’s holiday slip from my grasp!

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Ciao Ciao Xx