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Tag Archives: friendship

You’ve got a friend in me

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I was contemplating my friends list yesterday. Not the Facebook friends list. Everyone on my FB friends list has merit, don’t get me wrong,  but sometimes I wonder if I would recognize them in the line at Morrisons or if they would know me. (I’m not always underwater for a start).

There are about 5 names I can list (but won’t) who I used to consider a really good friend.

But now…  not so much.

And I’m not even sure what happened.

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What did I do to have them blow me out like that?  I must’ve become boring, or annoying or hacked them off somehow.

Pardon about that.

Their loss though.

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Who wouldn’t want to be friends with this?

 

 

 

 

Sometimes it can be a bit weird, I won’t lie.  As the following screenshots from a messenger conversation last night will testify:-

It started with this newspaper article in yesterday’s Metro.

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 Poor Lennie Peters. Sod’s Law that he was bricked in his good eye!

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Fairly standard TBH.

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Big-up to the crazy people who have stuck by me since the get-go and welcome aboard to all new passengers.  Buckle up MoFos and keep your limbs inside the vehicle at all times. To those who jumped ship – what’s up with that? Where did you go? You’re missing a trick. Come back aboard the love train. Unless you think you’re better than me, or I’m not good enough for you – in which case, fuck off then.

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2018 and out…

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Time for the annual round-up of the year in news stories, pictorial, musical, and meme-based form.

Clearly, the news story of the year (well the past two years TBH) is bloody Brexit. Well, fuck all that. Nobody knows what’s going to happen there and after this long, I’m not sure anybody cares anymore. Yet still, people are trying to get into this country in inflatable dinghies.  Why? I’m not entirely sure…

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Jack remind me again why we’re heading to Britain 

 

Meanwhile, for those of us convincing ourselves that we’re going on a health kick in the new year (yawn), let this lady be our inspiration… World’s strongest Vajayjay 

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Forgotten your bag for life at Lidl – no problem with the vag for life

World’s Strongest Vagina – and if that’s not a pitch for TV show for Channel 5 then I don’t know what is!  Women from around the world compete to lift and throw various items with their undersmiles.  If we’re not all lifting, nay, opening, jars of Marmite and cans of beans  with our twats by this time next year then I feel we haven’t put enough effort into it.  My aim is to lift, open and spread the Marmite onto my toasted soldiers and dip those bad boys into my boiled egg!  Pulling trucks with it. The lot!  Go big or go home y’all! 

(hands up who is clenching and unclenching right this moment – yeah you are, don’t deny it).

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Highlights of the year for me was probably seeing Die Antwoord at Boomtown Fair.  Right up there in my top lifetime moments. Enter the Ninja

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We’re gonna have a nice time kids

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I may have had some tequila at this stage

 

Shambala was, as ever, a brilliant 4 days too.  That time I jumped into a cloth vagina onto a pile of strangers shouting “Wassup Cunts!” Am already looking forward to next years Adventures in Utopia and I apologize in advance to my Childerbeast for being an ’embarrassing mum’ (but TBH I often relish it, just to annoy you).

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never too old for a bit of roller disco with sis and the kids

 

Early in the year, I started a second job, teaching swimming. Then in July, I left my job of ten years to do it for my actual job and as my own business! No danger of becoming a millionaire anytime soon. I’m happy if I make enough to pay my bills with a bit left over each month if I’m honest.  Mentally though, much happier and a lot less grouchy, even if I am constantly damp and stinking of chlorine.

 

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This is me now

 

What will 2019 bring?

Who knows.


Got some gigs to go to. Visits booked with old mates. Hopefully, there’ll be more ghost investigations to do.  Family holiday booked for summer. It’s Rho’s GCSE year! My baby bird is so grown up. I’ve got that prom dress to ‘Molly Ringwald’ to the max so she can actually wear it in June!

Resolutions? Nah, balls to that. Am going to try and be a bit healthier, not as a New Year resolution but as basic common sense really.

Be nice, be kind, laugh more, sprinkle some fun into peoples lives; have a ‘pile on’ with sibs and friends; reconnect with people in real life instead of just ‘liking’ their posts on ArseBook.  Be silly, do something you’ve not done in ages or never done before (but not kiddie fiddling, robbing grannies or kicking dogs or anything).  Get a tattoo, learn to swim (I can help you with that), take up a hobby, wrestle in glitter, talk to a homeless person, quit your crappy job and get a new one.

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Choose Life people!

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This applies to a few – which makes me one lucky lady

 

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Duuuuuuuuuude! Pile onnnnnnnnnnnnn!

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Standard

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Hey Lamo, you know I mean you here right?