So last night Bman and I had a rare night out together, but not really a date night because Linda was with us.
We went to The Mighty Fax to watch a screening of a film made for telly from the 80’s – ‘Threads‘ written by the brilliant Barry Hines and a Q&A with one of the stars – Reece Dinsdale of ‘Home to Roost’ fame. (And as Linda pointed out but I had forgotten – ex-husband of Corrie’s Gail Platt who died in a boating accident whilst trying to fake his own death in a boating accident). As you do…
If you are unfamiliar with Threads, I strongly suggest you see it, but possibly not as a ‘Christmas Night Out’ or if you are of a nervous disposition. Jolly and festive it is not! It scared the shit out of pretty much everyone in the UK when it came out in 1984. Made in an era before CGI, green screen and whatnot it’s amazing how terrifying a pair of melting milk bottles and a limping cat can be – even today!
It was actually shown in high schools too. I remember it being shown to us in Y4 (whatever that is these days? Y10 maybe?). I knew I didn’t particularly want to see it because I had already watched it when it was shown on the TV some years before and was still traumatized. I remember me and a couple of pals asking to be excused from the English class and we sat in the cloakroom, (quite probably sharing a Regal diddy in the girls’ loo).
If anything encourages you to do the Frankie Boyle idea in the case of a nuclear attack and just get the kids in the car and drive towards the blast, then this film is it! I had forgotten how much the grim reality of ‘surviving’ is depicted in this movie. Fuck all that mattresses up against the door and stockpiling bottled water. I think I’d rather just get incinerated outside Freeman Hardy Willis just after I’d pissed my slacks (people who’ve already seen it will know that reference).
Interesting discussion held afterward as to whether or not it should be remade. I think no it shouldn’t. It would end up being too CGI and like one of those apocalyptic films like Independence Day or 2012 – both of which were good films – but as entertainment not as a stark, harsh slap of reality on the face. It was scary because it was so normal. Because it was set in Sheffield (where I actually lived when it came out). Because it was very relevant in the 1980s. Although it has to be said with the lunatics taking over the asylum these days and the idiotic fingers on the buttons it is just as relevant now as it was over 30 years ago.
I think it should still be shown in schools, but no doubt todays youth wouldn’t give a shit with their tiny attention spans and lack of empathy. Perhaps if they showed it in the form of a set of Instagram posts or memes it might make a small impact (for about 2 minutes until something else caught their eyes – like a new grime track or Cardi B live streaming having a shit on youtube or something).*
Naturally, Linda and I managed to interject a bit of comedy into the evening. She mentioned something about the children in The Polar Express looking as though they were all a bit blind due to the way they had been animated – just as a lady with a guide dog arrived and sat on our row. We then went into League of Gentlemen ‘Ernest Foote’ mode. “There’s a man sitting next to you. Not another man. I am the man” Cue much stifled Mutley sniggering and that was before the film. FFS!
At the end, we both, without saying anything to one another at the time due to a gentleman (Bman) being present, noted the size of a certain Mr Dinsdale’s trouser bulge. It was only today on Messenger that we both mentioned it.
😀 😀 😀
Right. I’m off now to stockpile tinned peaches, water purification tablets and corner the stock market in bin liners in case I need to bag up the fam and leave them outside the door for the rats. And don’t forget a fucking tin opener man!
*no idea who Cardi B actually is or what she does. It is a she right? I’m almost 48. I know nowt remember.