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Tag Archives: halloween

Say hello to the night…

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…lost in the shadows

Song Lyric of the Day:  “Last fire will rise, behind those eyes” – Cry Little Sister, L.A. Guns

Movie Quote of the Day: “Are you freebasing? Enquiring minds want to know” – The Lost Boys


Despite still feeling as though I am only running on 20% power, I went out last night with a friend to The Lost Boys Experience at Kirkstall Abbey. I was dressed as Edgar Frog, as I’d poo-pooed Bman’s suggestion that I go as the shirtless, oiled-up sax player from the Boardwalk.

 

There were many 80s coiffured vampire looking types. There were people there who were clearly not old enough to remember this movie from 30 years ago. There were noodles (briefly) and blood themed cocktails. 

   We mocked the massive queue for mulled cider in the Kloisters, before realizing it was actually the line to take our seats for the screening. Got on the end and eventually found our seats & arranged our rugs & muffs (easy now!)  We had to move a few times, thanks to sodding Blair Witch and her mate with a massive furry collar parked right in front of us.

We pick & lifted our rugs, muffs, bags etc and shuffled further up the row but then bugger me, if Where’s Wally & her mate didn’t do the same. Cue some further comedy shuffling whilst simultaneously cursing & giggling.  We found somewhere with a less restricted view and then blow me if The Attack of the 50ft Woman didn’t come & sat right in front of us aswell!

FFS!

😀

We had a group sing along to ‘Cry Little Sister’ and then the movie began. We quoted along and geezer behind us kept guffawing loudly at random bits of the film that weren’t funny, but that made us giggle even more.

Once it was over, with the classic line of; “There’s one thing about Santa Carla that I never could stand….all the damn vampires!” It was time for fairground games and an 80s themed disco.   It’s been a long time since I had a boogie to anything by The Smiths or Erasure.  Not sure what the monks of Kirkstall Abbey would’ve made of it all but we thought it was great.

We also discovered that we kicked ass at Bog Roll Basketball & that in the event of seeing a Killer Clown, my initial reaction was to get a photo with it.  A bit like that time my sister & I saw a zombie invasion on Oxford Road in Manchester and we ran toward it, whooping!

Today is Halloween. Literally my favourite time of year.  For the first time in years though, I just can’t be arsed. Think because it’s a Monday and we haven’t had a party this year. My girls are out trick or treating, with instructions to ring if the Mama Mafia is required to come out & kick anybody’s butt!  Bman is at work til 11pm & I am slugging out on the sofa in my skeleton onesie (which I wear year-round anyway) & ignoring the door. I have no desire for a whole new generation of local children to know where I live.  I just want one more day before school starts again where I don’t have to fake a smile and be all professional – especially not in my pyjamas on my own doorstep.

Michael Meyers is a tit man

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Gave blood for first time last week.   Got told off by a Susan Boyle lookalike nurse for not disclosing that I’d had a paracetamol at the weekend.  She made me feel like some kind of lying, drug-addled deviant.  Other than that it went ok. I didn’t pass out or anything & show myself up.

We also went to Manchester to spend the evening at my sister’s.   City centre was busy. Slightly disturbed at mini tent city outside Boots on Market Street, complete with teens partaking of a bottle bong in broad daylight & nobody seemed to bat an eyelid!  It’s a city centre shopping area dudes.  Not a bloody festival!

Had a lovely birthday lunch at my sister’s for Mum on Thursday.   Fab to see everyone, especially my noisy little niecelings.

Had pals round on Saturday for my favourite time of year – Halloween. I went down the Dia de los Meurtos route again costume-wise.  Sugar skull glamour.  Anything to try to camouflage myself from hoardes of trick or treaters saying “Hiya Miss” (& knowing where I live!) 

Pity that didn’t work. 

They all knew who I was straight away! Even the ones who don’t already know where I live.  Will have to try harder next year. 

Bman looked pretty scary as Michael Myers.  I volunteered to dangle a coat hanger from his eye socket for maximum effect but he said it was ok.  He even had some horrid dismembered arm thing going on as a nod to his love of all things zombie.  I think between him and Stef dressed as Undead Santa, they managed to traumatize many of the younglings of the neighbourhood.

Job done.

🙂

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Back to work today, where I aim to make like my blood group and B-positive.

😀

Still here… haven’t blown away

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Realised I haven’t mentioned anything about half term and our trip to Wales and the ‘storm of the century’ and what I eventually wore at Halloween etc.

So:-  It was half term last week.  We went to Wales.  At one point it was rather windy & I feared our accommodation might blow off the hilltop and into the Tay estuary… but it didn’t, so that was good.  The whole place put me in mind of Kellerman’s Mountain Retreat from Dirty Dancing (but sadly lacking in the Johnny Castle department.)

Childerbeast pretending to look as if they were hanging onto the gate in the wind… but it went wrong & Thing 2 face-planted to the floor.

We also went to Chester for a couple of days.  A 5½ hours journey by train from Carmarthen!  Numb-bum times.  Lovely scenery though.

 

Went to Chester Zoo and almost had to have ‘the talk’.  
                   “Mum look at those animals giving each other piggy backs!”
                   ” Ha ha Hmmm,, moving on. Look there’s the gift shop!”

Laughing elephant at Chester Zoo

Laughing elephant at Chester Zoo (maybe because it was on it’s way to have a piggy back)

Back in the projects for Halloween (you know you’re back in the hood when the trick or treaters come round on mini quad bikes! )
          In the finish I utilised the sequined frock I bought for 70’s night at Magic Loungeabout the other year and  went as ‘The Death of  a Disco Dancer’ (#Smithsfans)  Not sure the native teenage populus were expecting this when they knocked on the door.  Especially when I went into teacher mode and gave them a dressing down for not dressing up or saying please and thank you as they tried to jip me of my double lollies and fizz whizz.

well it happens a lot round here

well it happens a lot round here

I think I suit the zombie look - easier to maintain than glam make up

I think I suit the zombie look – easier to maintain than glam make up

Bman didn’t bother this year.

                                                                        🙂

Such an attractive couple

Such an attractive couple

And that, as they say, was about that…

Ciao peeps Xx

Sweety treats & doylems on my doorstep

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Halloween!

…  the time of year where the veil between the land of the living and the land of teenage fucktards in hoodies & wellies is at it’s thinnest.

When doylems stalk the streets who think that I’m dumb enough to fall for them grabbing a handful of my Haribo then jumping the wall into my neighbours yard; doing the same to them – then coming back up my drive for seconds….

                ….without so much as a thank you, or a kiss my arse nor buggery.

Wezzies!

I don’t mind the littlies (if they say thankyou and bother to dress up).  It’s always fun seeing the kids who I work with, when they realise it’s me in fancy dress answering the door. (With the drawback that now they know where I live and I get the fear that I may end up with a burning wheelie bin shoved up against my front door in the future).

Next year any kid who doesn’t say thank you gets pushed down the feckin’ steps though. 

Scratty scrote teenagers needn’t be trying to flatter me either with their; “Ooh you look great tonight if I say so Mrs”.    Whatever!  Take a sweetie numbnuts and get the fuck off my steps!”

The joke was on them anyway.  By the time the teenagers remembered it was Halloween and drunk enough Frosty Jack to think that Trick or Treating was cool again, I’d run out of decent bullets and had resorted to getting rid of the Absinthe sweets and Vimto Skidaddles (remember those Gene Genie?) which have been kicking around my kitchen since July.

Before anyone reports me for giving out sweets laced with booze.  They were only Absinthe ‘flavoured’ and to be fair, it could have been worse.  Check out the treat these kids from Greater Manchester got when they went out last night.      trick-or-treat-kids-given-cocaine

Next year I’m going out Trick or Treating in Oldham!

Fright Night (Pt1)

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Annual Fright Night Disco last night. 

Am proper worn out today and slept like a log last night.  Not even any grog in the punch or anything, so not sure why I was so tired.  I didn’t really dance or knee slide across the floor (Thing 1 wouldn’t let me).  I just patrolled the Hall with an eye out (through my cat woman mask) for clandestine petting or inappropriate behaviour.  Didn’t see any. (The staff & parents were very well behaved this year!)  

Not sure that the mobile disco dude was aware that the flag he had draped infront of his decks represents Gay Pride.   Or maybe he did (although my money’s on ‘No’).

Just an average day at Casa Brew

The eye mask did nothing for my peripheral vision and natural astigmatism.  Several small children came acropper when they wandered beneath my line of sight and ended up knocked to the floor.  Now I know that sense of danger  my large-breasted pal feels when entering a room of small fry!  🙂

Break up today and Chester Y’s tomorrow, for some niece-squidging times. Xx

Don’t let my kids ever tell you I never do anything with them

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It is September 1st, there are 115 days until the C word and I go back to work the day after tomorrow, after 6 weeks off – and what a 6 weeks! 

I’ve been to Farndale & Saltburn; worked 2 festivals and attended another as a punter.  I’ve been to Scarborough, Whitby & swimming a fair few times.  Visited Manchester & Chester; I’ve sat in the belly of a metal whale; masqueraded as the Red Queen; soaked in a hot tub on a riverbank; climbed a giant dog turd in Stretford & danced atop a pile of haybales in a field in Northamptonshire.  I’ve met new friends; caught up with long lost old friends after far too long.  I’ve re-lived my lost youth and felt fantastic.  On occasion I have also felt about 89 years old!   I’ve discovered new music and heard some amazing live acts & bands.  I’ve laughed until I ached. I’ve cried buckets & felt  like I was at the bottom of the deepest darkest pit of shite, unable to climb back out (but I did).   I’ve danced in the mud; I’ve chatted freely to semi-naked people covered in glitter; I’ve swirled around in other people’s detritus in the name of research & entered the 21st century with a touch-screen phone with Internet access (it’s the devils own handiwork I tell you – Witchcraft! Witchcraft!).   I’ve been to the movies 3 times and I’ve loafed on the sofa for a whole day watching ‘Murder She Wrote”.   The excitement has been non-stop.

Well now it’s time to get back into work mode and pretend to be an intelligent, highly organised, calm and sensible grown-up again ready to impart knowledge and wisdom on a future generation of young adults.

I’ll let you know how that pans out…

 

In other news: Blunkett refused seat at Paralympics  Rather mahoosive social faux-pas.  Glad it’s not just me who fucks up on a grand scale then.

 

Also in home news, Bman tells me that at his work they are to be issued with new name badges which needn’t have their real names on.  They can choose an alternative name, which has to be agreed with the powers that be.  Oh the possibilities…

Apparently the usual suspects e.g. Phil McAvity and Phil McCreviss, have already been submitted (and rejected) but the potential for comedy is fabulous and too good an opportunity to miss.  All last night I was randomly interrupting conversation and TV viewing with things like;- “How about Lou Stools? or I.C. Uratwat”. 

Any suggestions worthy of mention, do feel free to leave a comment.  We have also been considering movie characters or musicians who aren’t too obvious.  We both liked Snake Plissken and Lux Interior but are doubtful they will pass the test.

In the meantime (while you think of names like ‘Mike Hunt’ and ‘Drew Peacock’) here are a few of my favourite pics of what I did on my holidays:-

  

Next thing to plan for: – HLTA course starting in October (work work work and how the Feck do I get across to the Harrogate Road side of Leeds by 0915) and hopefully our annual Halloween shizzle – this year am hoping for a Dia de los Meurtos theme to tie in with the date.  Sugar skull times!

Later dudes!  Xx

What I was doing when I should have been asleep

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What the hell did we do with ourselves in our free time before the Internet came along? 

We can’t just have sat around watching the test card waiting for ‘Crossroads’ to start or playing clock patience in front of the electric fire.

 Last night I spent 4 hours (count them… F O U R hours) looking at utter garbage online.  [I say garbage but one woman’s garbage is another man’s treat – Define garbage! Sometimes it’s a thin line you know.]

   What I was actually doing was making a party invitation on Publisher (that’s right, Publisher, not Word) and doctoring a photo of Limahl from Kajagoogoo to make him look like a zombie (as you do) which entertained me for at least one of those hours.

"Too shy shy, oops there goes my eye?"

 

   I also spent a long time trying to track down a jelly mould in the shape of a brain for under £12.  £12! for a jelly mould??  You have to be kidding! 

   I found much cheaper moulds but they were in the shape of penises (penii??) and boobs and amusing as that might be, I didn’t think either appropriate for a family friendly do.

     

 

 

 

 

 

I really do need to start going to bed earlier,  but at least I wasn’t drunk and bidding for shit on ebay that I can’t afford or would fit in the house. Lest we not forget that time I almost bought Bman the actual Mr Staypuft head from the ‘Ghostbusters’ movie – where the hell I thought it was going to go I do not know!

Happy birthday Hun - here's a giant marshmallow heid for on top of the shed