It’s already October 19th and I fear I have left it too late to do a decent Halloween costume for this year.
The Autumn/Twig fairy get-up at the school disco was for the benefit of the children (cross curricular dontchya know).
So after a lackadaisical approach to my usual favourite season now think I have bodged it and will just have to don the old pointy hat and trek the streets as a dull old witch.
I appreciate I am almost 42 years old and should have grown out this shit a long time ago but I doubt I ever will and am frankly not ashamed to admit it. I’ll be dressing up long after the childerbeast have sacked it all off.
I’ve done, witches aplenty, half-dead cheerleaders, murdered prom queens, Elvira mistress of the dark, Cruella De Ville (complete with childerbeast dressed as dalmations), 1980’s zombie hockey players and Dia de los Meurtos sugar skulls.
What to do next?
I am full of ideas but feel it’s too late now to cobble something together or make it myself. I’m too fat to carry off a decent Corpse Bride or Morticia Addams and most of the women’s costumes online are too indecent to be seen out in the street in after dark surrounded by children I teach during the day!
Tippi Hedren in The Birds (charity shop suit + plastic crows stitched to body)
I’m thinking:- Post explosion Ray Peterson from the Burbs, or… Edgar Frog from Lost Boys; but both of these involve ‘manning up’ which isn’t my style (& also rely heavily on people knowing who I am and most people who would know, won’t be anywhere near me on Halloween, which somewhat defeats the object).
I also thought of crazy Clare Devine of Hollyoaks, complete with red stilettos and head on back to front from being knocked down by bonkers Dr Browning but this again has a bit of a niche audience.
I’ve also considered some kind of post-zombie apocalypse Rita Fairclough (big red coiffure, Wetherfield Gazette under one arm, full-on undead make-up)
HELP! Any ideas gratefully received.