An approximation of the Saturday morning conversation between myself and Bman today:-
Bman: (checking his emails) “It says here that priority must be given to disabled persons if they need seats.”
Me: “What now?”
Bman: “This thing I’m going to tonight”
Me: “Oh your Berlin DJ disco thing”
Bman: “Yes, It also says there are stairs up to the venue though”
Me: “So how do the disabled ones get in then?”
Bman: “Dunno, do people in wheelchairs go to techno nights?”
Me: “Why not? Everything’s inclusive now you know, you can’t discriminate”
Bman: “It says here that there will be free lube and condoms in a basket in the corridor!”
Me: “Wait, what now? Where the hell is it you’re going again? Is it a sex party?”
Bman: “No it’s not, It says is specifically isn’t“
Me: “If the email says ‘it specifically is not a sex party’ then I reckon it is a sex party”
Bman: “No it’s not a sex party but it is a BYO.”
Me: “I’ll bet it’s BYO!! And it’s a sex party for disabled people and you’re going”
Me: “It’ll be like that time we went to Cedar Court and that other room was sectioned off with air beds and packs of wet wipes” (now giggling rather a lot and immediately messaging my friend about it).
Me: “Look what Linda sent after I just told her about your German spaz sex party”
Bman: “FFS! It’s not a bloody spaz sex party!!
Me: “Well some people must clearly be anticipating it if there’s to be a basket of complimentary lube and condoms”
Bman: “I don’t know what I’m going to wear yet”
Me: “I wouldn’t go too sexy if I were you” (then laughing maniacally) “You could end up bumfucked up against a wall in the corridor”
Bman: “You’re going to put this on your blog aren’t you?”
Me: “For sure”
I then spent 10 minutes scouring the internet for video clips of The League of Gentlemen’s Alvin Steele and wife Sunny and their monthly parties at the Windermere B&B.
He says I’m only jealous. I’ve told him he genuinely will be the oldest swinger in town.
He is on his way for the bus into Leeds shortly, with a bottle of Buckfast in a carrier bag. I’ve told him you can’t take Bucky to a Berlin-themed German disabled sex fest techno rave but he won’t listen. I’ve told him if he comes home with his rectum in tatters he’ll only have himself to blame.
Meanwhile, Allie and I are loafing on the sofa, eating chocolate and watching ‘Swimming with Men’ on Netflix.
It’s a weekend of contrasts y’all!
Ciao Ciao Xx