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…and another thing

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I forgot to mention yesterday another massive pet peeve of mine.

Quad bikes.

This is the appropriate way to use a quad. (There is one of me somewhere on the same quad but I can’t find it).


Well perhaps not the most appropriate way… but at least it is being used on a working farm and not for hooning up and down the street .  If you are, let’s say, going out for, or delivering recreational pharmaceuticals in a residential neighbourhood, I strongly suggest using a more discreet vehicle for the purpose.

If you aint on a farm, rounding up livestock or whatever, you do not need a quad bike. And if you’re texting while on a quad then you are an utter bellend and a twat and the sooner you pile it into wall and take yourself out of the gene pool, the better.

Also can I just thank my Canadian cuz for the hair care tip about washing the weave with Fairy Liquid (other brands are available) to get rid of the chlorine build-up.  Did this after work yesterday, whacked on some conditioner especially for blondes and today I have this… lovely and soft.


No filters and looking more like the goddess I feel like inside (when I’m not looking like a council estate scag on the outside) and hopefully less like any other jaded gone-to-seed heavy metal frontmen.

Right. Off to binge watch American Horror Story, Apocalypse. Where I shit you not, the mysterious organisation controlling the apparent re-population of the world after a nuclear war, is called ‘The Cooperative’. And it has the witches from the Coven in it.  Awesome!

Remember kids. Witchcraft isn’t just for Halloween.

Blessed be MotherFuckers!

“This is ME time now”

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For my own personal reasons, I rarely use my own photo as my incognito Farcebook profile pic.

Presently I am channelling Kath Day-Knight from ‘Kath & Kim’ (nice it’s unusual).

Look at moy Kimmy Look at moy

So,  best friend request message ever from someone I’ve not seen since about 1993:-

“Wow, I didn’t recognise you. You look totally different now”

Which I think (with all due respect to the fabulous Kath D-K) was a very polite way of saying:-

“Jesus H Christ!  WTF happened mate?”


I’m going to have a bath now in Loreal UltraLift cream and clip my crows feet back behind my ears  with a bulldog clip.


and this one just for certain people…  I  copied this today from a PSHCE KS2 text book.  I swear I have not tampered with the names in any way.


Competition entries to be in by March 30th


and only we could deviate from a lesson on pregnancy and the human gestation period and go off-piste into the realms of how a man with no arms can ride a quad bike or people who have tattoos on their amputated limb stumps.

Never a dull moment!