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Tag Archives: Samhain

Happy Halloween Mothercluckas

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Halloween is like my Christmas and it’s all over for another year already.

😦

Had an enjoyable day as it is half-term – off work, Childerbeast off school. They helped me make a doughnut-shaped cake and pumpkin soup.  My chocolate ribcage turned out better than expected and I finally got to dress as Melanie Daniels from Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds’.  This caused no end of confusion to the local children who had no idea who I was meant to be or why I had stuffed crows on my head when I answered the door. To be honest I doubt the local adults knew either.

 

Youngest offspring had her pals round and fair play to them for coming up with the triple costume idea of dressing as ‘Heathers’.

 

 

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We watched the weirdest film in a long time – ‘Midsommar‘ by the same dude who made ‘Hereditary’.  It made ‘The Wicker Man‘ seem like a lovely feelgood movie about rural life.

Very strange film.

Yesterday I took the childerbeast to Kirkstall Abbey for at atmospheric evening screening in the dark and the fog of ‘Hocus Pocus’. Sanderson Sisters tribute act did a bit of audience participation stuff and it was quite cool (chilly in fact) watching it on a big screen while actual bats fluttered around infront of the screen.

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Bman and I (inbetween bickering about nothing and making one another feel bad) did have a strange bedtime conversation on Halloween as we watched a thing on Talking Pictures channel called ‘The Legend of the Witch’. It was a 1970s documentary about the origins of witches and the modern-day witch (as it would have been in the late 1960s). It was essentially a lot of titular bullcrap about people getting naked and dancing about,  literally kissing one another’s bottoms, killing chickens and worshipping Lucifer.
This led Bman to suggest an idea for a Channel 5 reality show where celebrity has-beens compete in acts of paganism and witchcraft.  Sacrificing for survival alongside the likes of Chris Akabussi,  David Van Day and Cheryl Baker et al, all taking part in naked rituals or satanic rites. Compered by someone like Christine Hamilton or that woman vicar who used to be on Gogglebox.  Claudia Winkleman could do the spin-off show on FiveStar.

It’s only a matter of time before that shit actually happens.

It’s November MoFos.  Do not mention the C word (no, not THAT one. I like that one. The other one!)

Xx

 

Trick or Treat Y’all

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Favourite time of the year. Samhain. Halloween, All Hallows Eve, Soul Cake Day (Pratchett fans – and that’s a real thing BTW).

 

One child gone off to a sleepover looking too beautiful by far in her devil horns, with strict instructions not to get drunk or eat so many sweets she spews – it could go either way at her age.  The other one here with her mama, supposedly on door duty to dole out lollies and/or stop Alan Lickman escaping.  He is busting to go out but not yet allowed – despite a most excellent Halloween costume to rival any Woochie prosthetic make-up.  Giffy eye, stud through the jaw and a hole in his neck!  Lovely.  So far though it’s been me who has been up and down like a fiddler’s elbow to answer the door while her ladyship ‘ gets ready’ – for what I’m not entirely sure.

Had a most excellent visit to Chester Y Fronts over the weekend.  Party tea for mum’s birthday with (most of) the Fam (don’t ask) on Sunday, after a mare of a train journey.  A family viewing of the genius Halloween edition of Inside No9. Then a most civilized lunch at Cote in Chester on Monday afternoon and visit to the pub in the evening.  Tuesday, my Pops took the Childerbeast to the cinema and I met my pal Miss Sunshine and we spent a very pleasant afternoon sat by the fire in the Grosvenor Arms catching on up each others lives since the last time we met.

Nice.

Stay safe out there MoFos. Watch out for Jason, Freddy, Michael Myers, Pennywise, Slenderman (Don’t look directly at him) and if you see any class 5 full bodied apparitions be sure to get a selfie.

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