He’s back! Not quite as we know it, but he’s back. Not quite the same pussycat but not in a terrifying way like that one on Stephen King’s Pet Semetary. He hasn’t tried to eat our faces off yet. He hasn’t tried to eat anything TBH.
I am feeding him through his feeding tube with what seems to be some kind of Dunns River nourishment drink for cats. He mostly lies around, not moving and looking very very sorry for himself. But wouldn’t you if you could only see out of one eye and had a tube dangling from your neck held in place with a bandage covered in pictures of tractors?
I have to be Nurse Radchett to his Randle McMurphy, doling out his meds and twiddling about with his tubes and bandages and lubricating his special eye.
The pair of us have been sleeping on the couch downstairs. Him with his lethargy & gimpiness and me with my special ears. This is the collection of unguents and medications I have accrued over the last week to try and sort my swim ear out. Had to go into the chemist and ask for the strongest painkiller they could legally sell me. The full Ant McPartlin/ Matthew Perry package.
One of the things has come from America, from Amazon. Seemingly it’s no longer available in the UK. Quite possibly for the same reason you can’t just walk into a store here and buy pepper spray like you can over there. I tried some in my bad ear and it felt like when you inhale sharply after eating wasabi and you briefly have 20/20 vision and can see the future. Like someone had stuck a lit sparkler in my ear canal! When I checked the ingredients I saw that it was 95% alcohol!
Here’s to both of us being back to 100% soon. Meanwhile we’re both watching 22 July on Netflix – a dramatization of Anders Breivik’s lunatic attack on Oslo and Utoya island. Terrifying stuff. What a fookin’ nutter! Be wary kids. Not everyone is who they say they are, just because they’re dressed as a policeman or wearing a Hi-Vis.
On that chilling note, I’ll leave you there while I go and administer more kerosene to my ear.
PS: Oh. BTW. Pet insurance. You need that shit. So far Alan has cost around £3K (luckily he is covered) but Bman could have got a new car for that!