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Lilliput Times

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Had somewhat heart-stopping news this morning at work that I had to go and work in Nursery class for a session.


Would not have worn Per Una wrap dress and Mary Jane heels had I known in advance.  Felt like mad mix of Alison Hayes (before she died in her own home and was eaten by cats), Gulliver and Richard Dreyfuss.  I feared I would never get back up again once I sat on the carpet with them.  If the osteoporosis didn’t get me first then I was sure they might attempt to pin me down with their snack-time banana skins .

If I thought my first couple of weeks in Year 2 took some getting used to, I was even less prepared for an onslaught of zombie invasion style tiny people who kept trying to stroke my tights and rub their faces  against my sleeves while I tried to read ‘Room on the Broom’.

“Please sit back on the carpet & stop licking me”

In fairness I think they were even less prepared to see a grown woman they’d never met before doing Wake & Shake in a Per Una wrap dress and Mary Jane heels!  (NOT my idea!)  There’s a fair chance that some of the smaller ones closer to the front, may have seen my undies!

‘Don’t stop me now’?  Actually yes, Please do stop.  Stop immediately!

Lie down in a darkened room all round then there I think!




back off small dudes!

back off small dudes!




Busy Busy doing nish (& a little bit of politics)

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Good news! The heating’s kicked in so I can come out from beneath the kids’ blankets that I’ve been huddled under on the couch.
    Sure I COULD have kept warm by doing what I had every intention of doing today when I got up, which was cracking on with creating the latest new Wake & Shake routine for next term.
However… I was sidetracked by the the fact that ‘All New Ghost Adventures’ was on ALL day on the Really Channel.  I’ve only moved away from the TV because I needed a wee and then got distracted again by realising that there were no children hogging the PC (surely some kind of paranormal anomaly worthy of a visit from Derek Acorah himself). So I hopped on before the spectres of the office chair returned and I had to wait another 4 hours to use my own computer!

So basically I’ve been sat on fat arse all day watching and doing shit all!


I guess I could have thrown myself into some topical Maggie-bashing and arranged some kind of flashmob rave to drink myself silly celebrating her death.

But (without wanting to sound like a Conservative lover because I’m not, I assure you.)  I just feel that this behaviour is rather disrespectful.  Frankly I’m rather embarrassed by these people who are rejoicing the woman’s passing in a manner akin to celebrating the death of someone like  Saddam Hussein or Bin Laden.
I only hope that when Brown, Major, Blair and Cameron all pop off, that they are also afforded the same courtesy because they’ve done such a better job of running the country of course.

I particularly liked this, which I’ve nicked from a friend’s wall on FB.


Some people need to grow up.  Yeah Maggie will always be associated with the miners strike but people seem to forget that every fucker was on strike before 1979.  No bin men, no firemen, TV stations; the electric going off for hours at a time (still is in Boro by all accounts today!)  People seem to forget that she was the only politician who has actually done what she said she was going to do if she got into power (and she cooked her hubby his breakie everyday).

Right that’s enough politics.  I’m bored now.  It’s time for  another brew and another episode of Ghost Adventures while I search ebay for EVP equipment.


Party On Dudes!

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Just had confirmation that I am doing Wake & Shake dance workshops again at the following festies this year:-

as well as going to as a regular paying punter inbetween!

Glittery candyfloss, inflatable menagerie and twatish hand raised pies ahoy!

Best start arranging my Party Night festie outfit. I envision sequins this year!